I thought that all the self-confronting time I had spent in the Netherlands was going to provide me with all the answers - or at least a large proportion of the answers - that I was looking for.
It turns out that coming full circle and being home gave me the perspective to join more than a few dot dots together, and so far the picture is looking good. Hopeful. Inspired.
Going home gave me a new vigour for continuing on the path of "doing whatever the hell it is I feel like doing, because there is only one of me to execute what needs to be done."
Here are some myths that were blasted while I was at home:
- I don't have a true home.
Not true. At the moment, I have two.
- My friends in my hometown have all moved on and forgotten about me.
- I'm too big for my home town and can never go back.
My home town has changed but so have I, and I saw that city with new eyes, and a fresh attraction for the beauty of the sky, beach, and people. I might have seen more things in the world, have more grand ideas about who I can become and what is possible, but that town holds opportunities that are there for the taking. It just wasn't where I needed to be a couple of years ago, and maybe not in the near future.
- I need to stay overseas because I'll be labelled a failure/won't be "anyone" if I can't hang tight there for a significant amount of time, after all the years that I talked about going over there.
How long is a piece of string? Who defines what is a significant time period? I make the rules, and so I can break the rules.
An nobody has ever said to me that I shouldn't come home until I can prove myself worthy. Worthy of what? Who knows.... something I created in my own mind.
In the end, all that matters to is that I shape my own life with decisions that I am happy about and believe in 100%. And having the courage and wisdom to own each and every decision I make is a process, but I have people on both hemispheres that can help me with that.
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