That's who I am...
Thursday, June 30, 2011
No culture, No future
An ad placed in the New York Times by disgruntled dutch artists
NO CULTURE-NO FUTURE
Dear art/culture lovers and defenders
Black day
We invite every organization/institution, big or small, related to art and culture to cover the facade of their building with a black material tagged with a white painted symbol "X". This black material could be a cloth, a curtain or garbage plastic bag, any thing as long as it is black.
This is a protest against the radical cut in the dutch cultural sector and more specifically a protest against the way it is handled by the government.
It's your turn to act
In the past weeks we understood that most of the people outside our field are not truly aware that the government jeopardize the art and culture of tomorrow. Therefore every artist, individual working in the art/cultural context and every person who are concern about the future of culture and art are invited as well to cover their house window in that same way.
The urban landscape of the Netherlands would be modified for these days and reveal to its inhabitants the diversity and dynamism of their city.We shouldn't underestimate a national action and the repercussion of awareness that it would bring to the citizens. Come, join and spread the word.
Let living art and culture be major actors for the growth of our consciousness and our economy!
Join the movement, make it happen!
Dear art/culture lovers and defenders
Black day
We invite every organization/institution, big or small, related to art and culture to cover the facade of their building with a black material tagged with a white painted symbol "X". This black material could be a cloth, a curtain or garbage plastic bag, any thing as long as it is black.
This is a protest against the radical cut in the dutch cultural sector and more specifically a protest against the way it is handled by the government.
It's your turn to act
In the past weeks we understood that most of the people outside our field are not truly aware that the government jeopardize the art and culture of tomorrow. Therefore every artist, individual working in the art/cultural context and every person who are concern about the future of culture and art are invited as well to cover their house window in that same way.
The urban landscape of the Netherlands would be modified for these days and reveal to its inhabitants the diversity and dynamism of their city.We shouldn't underestimate a national action and the repercussion of awareness that it would bring to the citizens. Come, join and spread the word.
Let living art and culture be major actors for the growth of our consciousness and our economy!
Join the movement, make it happen!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Two minds... one exact thought.
I've just spent some time catching up on snippets of news on my favourite (aka my only) english news source on dutch a current affairs.
They provide rough translations on certain press stories around the country on a daily basis, with opportunity to comment on articles.
Here are some of my favourite headlines to date - see if you can think of the words I am thinking of once you read them:
- Fear of foreigners 'understandable and justified', says Verhagen
Tuesday 28 June 2011
- Wide support for new integration policy
Monday 20 June 2011
- Multiculturalism must go: Donner
Friday 17 June 2011
- UN 'greatly concerned' at Dutch foreign policy shift: NRC
Thursday 16 June 2011
- The Netherlands needs migrant labour, parliament told
Wednesday 15 June 2011
If you guessed "narrow minded" and "ironic" , you would be right.
It's so weird: people in my office are lovely to me, and I wonder if that's because they are educated and more worldly.
These articles make it feel like I am living in a place far more redneck than Queensland when I walk out on the street, and it's probably a little bit true, but as people keep telling me, Amsterdam and it's population are not representative of the rest of the country.
I don't feel like this in general (that I am surrounded by bigots on a daily basis) but the general atmosphere around these parts is that you are either an anglo saxon dutch local who speaks perfect accentless dutch, or you aren't. Clear cut distinction which gets you various types of treatment.
Here are some classic lines out of various sections of the aforementioned articles:
-The Netherlands will need some 250,000 workers by 2020 to offset the effect of the greying population, a government commission was told on Wednesday, the Financieele Dagblad reports.
- Three-quarters of the population supports the government's new policy on integration, according to a poll on Sunday by Maurice de Hond.
- The poll also shows that 83% of voters are in favour of a ban on the burka.
- Home affairs minister Piet Hein Donner on Thursday announced the government would distance itself from the idea of a multicultural society. It is up to immigrants to integrate into Dutch society and general policy on schooling, jobs and housing gives them ample opportunity, he said.
Dutch society and its values must take precedence, he said. There would be a tougher approach to people who ignore Dutch values or disobey the law. He wants to introduce a law making forced marriage illegal and tougher measures on the way immigrants dress, which could include a burka ban.
- Dutch society and its values must take precedence and integration policy should go, home affairs minister Piet Hein Donner told parliament on Thursday evening during the presentation of his integration bill.
-Donner wants an end to integration policy and a tougher approach to people who ignore Dutch values or disobey the law. He is planning to introduce a law making forced marriage illegal and he wants tougher measures for immigrants who lower their chance of employment by the way they dress.
In response, somebody wrote the below comment on one of the articles, and I think it is actual social commentary GOLD. I wish I could meet this person and shake their hand because it's just so true, it's actual side splittingly hilarious.
I have roughly translated the key dutch words in brackets for the sake of understanding.
"The Dutch governement should absolutely revoke the residence permits of anyone who doesn't ride an oma fiets (typical dutch bike), who doesn't eat a broodje kaaas (cheese sandwhich) everyday for lunch except on fridays, who doesn't use the words 'lekker' (delicious) and 'leuk'(nice) as their prime vocabulary, all men who don't wear ill-fitting suits and pointy brown shoes, all women over 30 who don't look more like men than men do, all those who know how to queue, who don't bump into everyone the pass in the streets, who go to concerts to talk through it, and anyone who isn't absolutely boorish."
By NotImpressed | June 17, 2011 10:21 AM
They provide rough translations on certain press stories around the country on a daily basis, with opportunity to comment on articles.
Here are some of my favourite headlines to date - see if you can think of the words I am thinking of once you read them:
- Fear of foreigners 'understandable and justified', says Verhagen
Tuesday 28 June 2011
- Wide support for new integration policy
Monday 20 June 2011
- Multiculturalism must go: Donner
Friday 17 June 2011
- UN 'greatly concerned' at Dutch foreign policy shift: NRC
Thursday 16 June 2011
- The Netherlands needs migrant labour, parliament told
Wednesday 15 June 2011
If you guessed "narrow minded" and "ironic" , you would be right.
It's so weird: people in my office are lovely to me, and I wonder if that's because they are educated and more worldly.
These articles make it feel like I am living in a place far more redneck than Queensland when I walk out on the street, and it's probably a little bit true, but as people keep telling me, Amsterdam and it's population are not representative of the rest of the country.
I don't feel like this in general (that I am surrounded by bigots on a daily basis) but the general atmosphere around these parts is that you are either an anglo saxon dutch local who speaks perfect accentless dutch, or you aren't. Clear cut distinction which gets you various types of treatment.
Here are some classic lines out of various sections of the aforementioned articles:
-The Netherlands will need some 250,000 workers by 2020 to offset the effect of the greying population, a government commission was told on Wednesday, the Financieele Dagblad reports.
- Three-quarters of the population supports the government's new policy on integration, according to a poll on Sunday by Maurice de Hond.
- The poll also shows that 83% of voters are in favour of a ban on the burka.
- Home affairs minister Piet Hein Donner on Thursday announced the government would distance itself from the idea of a multicultural society. It is up to immigrants to integrate into Dutch society and general policy on schooling, jobs and housing gives them ample opportunity, he said.
Dutch society and its values must take precedence, he said. There would be a tougher approach to people who ignore Dutch values or disobey the law. He wants to introduce a law making forced marriage illegal and tougher measures on the way immigrants dress, which could include a burka ban.
- Dutch society and its values must take precedence and integration policy should go, home affairs minister Piet Hein Donner told parliament on Thursday evening during the presentation of his integration bill.
-Donner wants an end to integration policy and a tougher approach to people who ignore Dutch values or disobey the law. He is planning to introduce a law making forced marriage illegal and he wants tougher measures for immigrants who lower their chance of employment by the way they dress.
In response, somebody wrote the below comment on one of the articles, and I think it is actual social commentary GOLD. I wish I could meet this person and shake their hand because it's just so true, it's actual side splittingly hilarious.
I have roughly translated the key dutch words in brackets for the sake of understanding.
"The Dutch governement should absolutely revoke the residence permits of anyone who doesn't ride an oma fiets (typical dutch bike), who doesn't eat a broodje kaaas (cheese sandwhich) everyday for lunch except on fridays, who doesn't use the words 'lekker' (delicious) and 'leuk'(nice) as their prime vocabulary, all men who don't wear ill-fitting suits and pointy brown shoes, all women over 30 who don't look more like men than men do, all those who know how to queue, who don't bump into everyone the pass in the streets, who go to concerts to talk through it, and anyone who isn't absolutely boorish."
By NotImpressed | June 17, 2011 10:21 AM
Some friendly banter amongst colleagues
Tuesday 11.30am
People have been coming up to me all morning, saying "hi", asking how my holiday was.
Considering I came back to the office having been told only a few days before that 20% of the office would be made redundant by September, I thought it was nice that people were still caring about how my month off was.
I am standing by the coffee machine, waiting for my first coffee of the day to be pumped out of the pipes of automated caffeine mediocrity.
Footsteps turn the corner and suddenly the Global Sales and Marketing Director is standing infront of me.
He looks at me.
I look at him.
Him: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! (bellowing)
I look blankly at him, processing this sudden and hospitable invitation to exchange dialogue. Upon realising that he is, in fact, talking to me, I beam him a 1000 watt smile back.
Me: Well, hello!
(pause)
Did he realise that I've been gone for a month? Did he miss me? Did the campaign go so well after I left that I've etched a permanant place in his mental "Employees to keep on payroll" file?
Me: Uh, so, how ARE you?
Him: Well - personally, everything is fantastic! (bellowing)
Other people in the open plan office and are now craning their necks to really see if the Sales and Marketing Director is talking to me about his personal life, openly.
Upon confirmation that he is, they continue to watch this sudden and bold interaction.
Me: That's great to hear.
(pause)
Me: ... And...errr... everything else?
Him: Well, there could be improvements.
(His face is stern, voice is 2 decibels higher than I have ever heard them in my entire history of working for this company. A whole solid 1 year and 8 months.)
This tall, lanky, powerful, and usually reserved dutch man is scaring me. I am scared. I just don't know what to do.
He rarely leaves his office, or tears his face away from his computer monitor. 40 other men in suits report to him and he is in charge of making the money flow into this corporation and making sure it is a global name everybody knows. He has a lot of responsibility.
People in the office would jostle their grandmothers out of the way to get 2 minutes of face to face time with him.
I have spoken to him about 5 times in my life.
Once when I went to the photocopier and he was standing there and I unjammed it for him.
Once when we won the B2B Marketing awards in London and he popped some champagne and made a little "I'm proud" speech for us.
Another awkward photocopier moment.
Another time he called me into his office for me to tell him what campaigns were running for the year so he could make a powerpoint slide.
And another time when I was asking him to give me about 40,000 euros to take some photos. (Which he did.)
(Note: All interactions went reasonably well. ie. I didn't say or do anything stupid. Wait, there was that time at last year's christmas party when I was in an awkward conversation circle with him and after some banter about food and bad food in Amsterdam, I ended up asking him what time I could come over for his annual "cook for my direct reports dinner". He just straight up told me I wasn't invited. I thought that was kind of cool. )
Conversation continues...
Me: Could be improvements huh? .... Uh... anything I can do to help?
I am stirring sugar into my coffee, and wondering... what is the appropriate thing to say in this situation?!? Surely, I've just said the right thing?!
Him: You could start by getting our sales force out there and telling them to sell more stuff!
I look up from my coffee stirring. Does he know who I am and what I actually do here?
I look over to our Field Sales Director who happens to be sitting a metre from this whole show. I am on friendly terms with him. He is looking at me with a nervous smile.
He gets out of his chair and comes to the coffee machine.
Me: I shall draft the memo now!
(I am trying to sound helpful and triumphant)
I clutch my coffee and the Field Sales Director comes and pushes some buttons on the coffee machine.
Global Sales and Marketing guy: Tell him (pointing to Field Sales Director) to get onto his people!
Then Global Sales and Marketing Director gets distracted and talks to a Product Manager who has overheard this conversation and is chuckling. They share some jovial banter.
I look at Field Sales Director.
FSD: That's what you get for sitting close to the coffee machine.
Me: Here I am minding my own business, getting a cafe au lait, and suddenly I'm responsible for the fall of the empire! (I chuckle.)
FSD: No, I meant me. (He's smiling but sounds kind of glum.)
Me: Oh.
I take a side step and sip of my coffee and stand there for a second, before wandering back to my desk.
People have been coming up to me all morning, saying "hi", asking how my holiday was.
Considering I came back to the office having been told only a few days before that 20% of the office would be made redundant by September, I thought it was nice that people were still caring about how my month off was.
I am standing by the coffee machine, waiting for my first coffee of the day to be pumped out of the pipes of automated caffeine mediocrity.
Footsteps turn the corner and suddenly the Global Sales and Marketing Director is standing infront of me.
He looks at me.
I look at him.
Him: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! (bellowing)
I look blankly at him, processing this sudden and hospitable invitation to exchange dialogue. Upon realising that he is, in fact, talking to me, I beam him a 1000 watt smile back.
Me: Well, hello!
(pause)
Did he realise that I've been gone for a month? Did he miss me? Did the campaign go so well after I left that I've etched a permanant place in his mental "Employees to keep on payroll" file?
Me: Uh, so, how ARE you?
Him: Well - personally, everything is fantastic! (bellowing)
Other people in the open plan office and are now craning their necks to really see if the Sales and Marketing Director is talking to me about his personal life, openly.
Upon confirmation that he is, they continue to watch this sudden and bold interaction.
Me: That's great to hear.
(pause)
Me: ... And...errr... everything else?
Him: Well, there could be improvements.
(His face is stern, voice is 2 decibels higher than I have ever heard them in my entire history of working for this company. A whole solid 1 year and 8 months.)
This tall, lanky, powerful, and usually reserved dutch man is scaring me. I am scared. I just don't know what to do.
He rarely leaves his office, or tears his face away from his computer monitor. 40 other men in suits report to him and he is in charge of making the money flow into this corporation and making sure it is a global name everybody knows. He has a lot of responsibility.
People in the office would jostle their grandmothers out of the way to get 2 minutes of face to face time with him.
I have spoken to him about 5 times in my life.
Once when I went to the photocopier and he was standing there and I unjammed it for him.
Once when we won the B2B Marketing awards in London and he popped some champagne and made a little "I'm proud" speech for us.
Another awkward photocopier moment.
Another time he called me into his office for me to tell him what campaigns were running for the year so he could make a powerpoint slide.
And another time when I was asking him to give me about 40,000 euros to take some photos. (Which he did.)
(Note: All interactions went reasonably well. ie. I didn't say or do anything stupid. Wait, there was that time at last year's christmas party when I was in an awkward conversation circle with him and after some banter about food and bad food in Amsterdam, I ended up asking him what time I could come over for his annual "cook for my direct reports dinner". He just straight up told me I wasn't invited. I thought that was kind of cool. )
Conversation continues...
Me: Could be improvements huh? .... Uh... anything I can do to help?
I am stirring sugar into my coffee, and wondering... what is the appropriate thing to say in this situation?!? Surely, I've just said the right thing?!
Him: You could start by getting our sales force out there and telling them to sell more stuff!
I look up from my coffee stirring. Does he know who I am and what I actually do here?
I look over to our Field Sales Director who happens to be sitting a metre from this whole show. I am on friendly terms with him. He is looking at me with a nervous smile.
He gets out of his chair and comes to the coffee machine.
Me: I shall draft the memo now!
(I am trying to sound helpful and triumphant)
I clutch my coffee and the Field Sales Director comes and pushes some buttons on the coffee machine.
Global Sales and Marketing guy: Tell him (pointing to Field Sales Director) to get onto his people!
Then Global Sales and Marketing Director gets distracted and talks to a Product Manager who has overheard this conversation and is chuckling. They share some jovial banter.
I look at Field Sales Director.
FSD: That's what you get for sitting close to the coffee machine.
Me: Here I am minding my own business, getting a cafe au lait, and suddenly I'm responsible for the fall of the empire! (I chuckle.)
FSD: No, I meant me. (He's smiling but sounds kind of glum.)
Me: Oh.
I take a side step and sip of my coffee and stand there for a second, before wandering back to my desk.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Don't give me that look. What look? THAT look.
I once said to someone,
"There's only one look that's ever on my face - and that, is the look of honesty."
Translated into: I show every emotion which is going on inside of me, whether I like it or not.
I know this because people tell me all the time the exact thing that I am thinking, and that disturbs me greatly.
Apparently, I am an open book. Maybe not a book. Maybe an open magazine with scruffy dog eared pages. ( Always lose recipes and pictures I like in magazines unless I do this.)
What is the opposite of a Poker face?
How about a BINGO face?
As in the game that old people play? As in, they get antsy if they are closeto getting their combination of numbers in order to win? Or screaming at the top of their octogeneric lungs when they have won?
I think I care too much about things.
I am way too opinionated about things that I shouldn't even be concerned about.
There are some words I should really be channelling at the moment, and I am going to do my best to start with these words today:
NONCHALANT
ALOOF
UNPERTURBED
I am going to come up with a technique for dealing with things I hear/see/sense that all of a sudden shock me/annoy me/disturb me.
Just like the Seinfeld version of "Serenity Now", I need to think of something that makes me laugh, or smile serenely. Hmmmm, what could be that mechanism...?
Maybe I could just go to my happy place...
- Amsterdam Roots Festival or WOMADelaide.
- My recent holiday back to Australia
- My recent birthday party in Amsterdam where my friends presented me with not one but 2 birthday cakes and sung to me in dutch and english.
Or maybe I could think about things like
- winning a scholarship to gastronomy university
- getting made redundant, being paid out for the trouble and then being offered a full time travel blogging job
Thought du jour: Why waste energy that could go into YOUR transformation worrying about others are doing/not doing? Some people are Phoenixes and others are fodder.
"There's only one look that's ever on my face - and that, is the look of honesty."
Translated into: I show every emotion which is going on inside of me, whether I like it or not.
I know this because people tell me all the time the exact thing that I am thinking, and that disturbs me greatly.
Apparently, I am an open book. Maybe not a book. Maybe an open magazine with scruffy dog eared pages. ( Always lose recipes and pictures I like in magazines unless I do this.)
What is the opposite of a Poker face?
How about a BINGO face?
As in the game that old people play? As in, they get antsy if they are closeto getting their combination of numbers in order to win? Or screaming at the top of their octogeneric lungs when they have won?
I think I care too much about things.
I am way too opinionated about things that I shouldn't even be concerned about.
There are some words I should really be channelling at the moment, and I am going to do my best to start with these words today:
NONCHALANT
ALOOF
UNPERTURBED
I am going to come up with a technique for dealing with things I hear/see/sense that all of a sudden shock me/annoy me/disturb me.
Just like the Seinfeld version of "Serenity Now", I need to think of something that makes me laugh, or smile serenely. Hmmmm, what could be that mechanism...?
Maybe I could just go to my happy place...
- Amsterdam Roots Festival or WOMADelaide.
- My recent holiday back to Australia
- My recent birthday party in Amsterdam where my friends presented me with not one but 2 birthday cakes and sung to me in dutch and english.
Or maybe I could think about things like
- winning a scholarship to gastronomy university
- getting made redundant, being paid out for the trouble and then being offered a full time travel blogging job
Thought du jour: Why waste energy that could go into YOUR transformation worrying about others are doing/not doing? Some people are Phoenixes and others are fodder.
Pick Up lines you should never use #17: The "biological clock"
"So, uh... in case you were wondering, my womb is pretty vacant ... what are you doing later?"
- developed by Laura O, Carmen G, and me.
- developed by Laura O, Carmen G, and me.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
A weakness for those from the Amsterdam Conservatorium
When I first walked into the Amsterdam Public library, I saw a cute guy with an afro playing jazz on the public piano. The library is right next to the Amsterdam Conservatorium, so I assumed he was a student on a break.
Then I met a few guys from the AMS Con at my local pub, carrying their double bass, trumpets and guitars.
I am, in a word, enamoured by the jazz students (ok, well, boys) that study there.
Here is a video clip of a girl who studied there, who has made it big here, and internationally: Caro Emerald.
The kids are hard core
My apartment. 8:30pm, Friday night
Sounds of dull thudding basslines are emanating from the little park across the road which is behind a primary school. Momentary pause of thudding followed by chants of "One- Two - Three" in dutch and a thousand pre-pubescent girly voices scream in enthusiasm after the count of three.
Me: How old do those girls sound? Like 12?
Flatmate: Yeah, it sounds like a kiddy party.
After the screaming dies down, thumping bass continues into fast paced house track, then gets manipulated by an invisible DJ and wound right down into a reggae track with an MC rapping over the slow groove.
It sounds, to be frank, highly charged with sexual connotations.
Me: The 12 year olds are listening to reggae here?
Flatmate's girlfriend: Only in Amsterdam..!*
* I'm guessing she meant that in the rest of the Netherlands, the 12 year olds are not as "urban" per se, and would be listening to more wholesome, conservative things... for example; dutch pop like De Toppers.
Jesus. Am I getting old? Making the call on what 12 year olds should and should not be listening to? I mean, I was listening to Britney Spears (speaking of sexually explicit) when I was about 16... and R n B songs that were screaming hoochie mama this, and mo fo that when I was about 12.
Shit. I am getting old.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Seoul Shine
Just when I thought I was over travelling and the lustre of foreigness and the unknown.
Just when I thought you could throw me in the pits of various situations of strange, and unfamiliar and kind of freaky without me breaking into a sweat.
That feeling came over me again last night: Wonder, a little bit of fear, curiousity.
I was on an overnight stopover in Seoul, waiting for my flight back to Amsterdam via London.
Flouro lights, animations and magic wand sounds of "zing/zap/kapow" in every tv show and every restaurant, large and confusing shapes that make language characters, meat on a stick, pale, coy and elegant girls that cover their mouths when they giggle and talk in a barely audible volume, toilets with heated seats and buttons that shoot water and hot air in... unexpected places....
I think I just got bitten by the North Asia travel bug....
Just when I thought you could throw me in the pits of various situations of strange, and unfamiliar and kind of freaky without me breaking into a sweat.
That feeling came over me again last night: Wonder, a little bit of fear, curiousity.
I was on an overnight stopover in Seoul, waiting for my flight back to Amsterdam via London.
Flouro lights, animations and magic wand sounds of "zing/zap/kapow" in every tv show and every restaurant, large and confusing shapes that make language characters, meat on a stick, pale, coy and elegant girls that cover their mouths when they giggle and talk in a barely audible volume, toilets with heated seats and buttons that shoot water and hot air in... unexpected places....
I think I just got bitten by the North Asia travel bug....
The jig is up...
Needless to say, I really enjoyed my time at home.
I thought that all the self-confronting time I had spent in the Netherlands was going to provide me with all the answers - or at least a large proportion of the answers - that I was looking for.
It turns out that coming full circle and being home gave me the perspective to join more than a few dot dots together, and so far the picture is looking good. Hopeful. Inspired.
Going home gave me a new vigour for continuing on the path of "doing whatever the hell it is I feel like doing, because there is only one of me to execute what needs to be done."
Here are some myths that were blasted while I was at home:
- I don't have a true home.
Not true. At the moment, I have two.
- I'm too big for my home town and can never go back.
My home town has changed but so have I, and I saw that city with new eyes, and a fresh attraction for the beauty of the sky, beach, and people. I might have seen more things in the world, have more grand ideas about who I can become and what is possible, but that town holds opportunities that are there for the taking. It just wasn't where I needed to be a couple of years ago, and maybe not in the near future.
- I need to stay overseas because I'll be labelled a failure/won't be "anyone" if I can't hang tight there for a significant amount of time, after all the years that I talked about going over there.
How long is a piece of string? Who defines what is a significant time period? I make the rules, and so I can break the rules.
An nobody has ever said to me that I shouldn't come home until I can prove myself worthy. Worthy of what? Who knows.... something I created in my own mind.
In the end, all that matters to is that I shape my own life with decisions that I am happy about and believe in 100%. And having the courage and wisdom to own each and every decision I make is a process, but I have people on both hemispheres that can help me with that.
I thought that all the self-confronting time I had spent in the Netherlands was going to provide me with all the answers - or at least a large proportion of the answers - that I was looking for.
It turns out that coming full circle and being home gave me the perspective to join more than a few dot dots together, and so far the picture is looking good. Hopeful. Inspired.
Going home gave me a new vigour for continuing on the path of "doing whatever the hell it is I feel like doing, because there is only one of me to execute what needs to be done."
Here are some myths that were blasted while I was at home:
- I don't have a true home.
Not true. At the moment, I have two.
- My friends in my hometown have all moved on and forgotten about me.
- I'm too big for my home town and can never go back.
My home town has changed but so have I, and I saw that city with new eyes, and a fresh attraction for the beauty of the sky, beach, and people. I might have seen more things in the world, have more grand ideas about who I can become and what is possible, but that town holds opportunities that are there for the taking. It just wasn't where I needed to be a couple of years ago, and maybe not in the near future.
- I need to stay overseas because I'll be labelled a failure/won't be "anyone" if I can't hang tight there for a significant amount of time, after all the years that I talked about going over there.
How long is a piece of string? Who defines what is a significant time period? I make the rules, and so I can break the rules.
An nobody has ever said to me that I shouldn't come home until I can prove myself worthy. Worthy of what? Who knows.... something I created in my own mind.
In the end, all that matters to is that I shape my own life with decisions that I am happy about and believe in 100%. And having the courage and wisdom to own each and every decision I make is a process, but I have people on both hemispheres that can help me with that.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Badge of honour
The eve of my 29th birthday.
I'm arranging my catchups, accomodations, flights, and goodbyes on facebook.
Whilst I am perusing the profiles of other people, I think: "I have no boyfriend - I seem to be an emotional retard."
Then I think,: "I have a job with the United Nations - I seem to be pretty freaking awesome."
So I updated my employer information. Just so when I do turn 29, I have something to smile about, and remember how far I have come. (And maybe, just maybe, remind anyone who wishes to know, about how freaking cool I am.)
Because why should your relationship status become the sole something so freaking special to gloat about on the online self publicity machine?
I'm arranging my catchups, accomodations, flights, and goodbyes on facebook.
Whilst I am perusing the profiles of other people, I think: "I have no boyfriend - I seem to be an emotional retard."
Then I think,: "I have a job with the United Nations - I seem to be pretty freaking awesome."
So I updated my employer information. Just so when I do turn 29, I have something to smile about, and remember how far I have come. (And maybe, just maybe, remind anyone who wishes to know, about how freaking cool I am.)
Because why should your relationship status become the sole something so freaking special to gloat about on the online self publicity machine?
Haunted
I don't know if I ever really mentioned this, but when I moved to Amsterdam, there was a song that I heard constantly.
Everywhere.
Inside shops, blaring from canal boats (?), on the radio...
Anyway, back at home, it was my second day back, and I was in the central business district. I was making my way to the bus stop to my sister's office to have lunch with her, and then I ran into a guy on the street playing the piano... playing the song.
I think I heard it in Madrid... oh yeah, I did. I accidentally walked into a cabaret club and 4 guys were singing it in spanish.
It's like every step of the way.. it's there...
Here's the most beautiful rendition of the song I have ever heard.
Everywhere.
Inside shops, blaring from canal boats (?), on the radio...
Anyway, back at home, it was my second day back, and I was in the central business district. I was making my way to the bus stop to my sister's office to have lunch with her, and then I ran into a guy on the street playing the piano... playing the song.
I think I heard it in Madrid... oh yeah, I did. I accidentally walked into a cabaret club and 4 guys were singing it in spanish.
It's like every step of the way.. it's there...
Here's the most beautiful rendition of the song I have ever heard.
Monday, June 13, 2011
We got a comedian on our hands
"You do realise 'Eat Pray Love' is already a book?"
- my second oldest friend Caitlin's response to me drawing breath about my adventures and learnings in life overseas thus far.
- my second oldest friend Caitlin's response to me drawing breath about my adventures and learnings in life overseas thus far.
She was right
I worried about coming home so much.
For various reasons.
Anxiety kind of plagued me.
Concerns washed over me frequently.
But Laura gave me some advice I once gave her.
And she's been right so far.
Dismantling the delusions
Sometimes, things happen where you say
"WHAT - THE - FUCK."
No question mark required.
The situation is so bizarre that noone could possibly ever offer an explanation that would or could satisfy therefore rendering it completely useless to pose the words in a tone that would present it as a question.
Sometimes, when you ask for a sign, a deafening silence can follow.
And that is actually your answer you were meant to receive.
"WHAT - THE - FUCK."
No question mark required.
The situation is so bizarre that noone could possibly ever offer an explanation that would or could satisfy therefore rendering it completely useless to pose the words in a tone that would present it as a question.
Sometimes, when you ask for a sign, a deafening silence can follow.
And that is actually your answer you were meant to receive.
The resolution
The Names They Gave You
You are more than a list of mistakes and if anyone tells you otherwise, let it be the last they make.
- via "I wrote this for you" Blog
Drowning in the noise is more likely than in water
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
- Steve Jobs
- Steve Jobs
The graceful exit
There's a trick to the 'graceful exit.' It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over - and let it go. It means leaving what's over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving up, rather than out."
- Ellen Goodman
- Ellen Goodman
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
The $64 question
I'm home for a little while, for the first time in 2 years.
I haven't seen my parents in 1.5 years, since I went to Indonesia to visit them.
I picked my parents up from the airport this morning, and I went to hug my mother.
The first things she said to me mid-hug?
"Hi darling...... Are you still drunk (from last night)?"
Wow mum. Wow.
(For the record, no, I wasn't.)
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