Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The show goes on...












I am writing this from the dining room table of the first floor of Eerste Atjehstraat 69.



Outside the window, I see a blue sky, a large blue winebego parked opposite my house, and the owner of the local cafe unstacking his chairs outside, preparing for a good day of trade I imagine. 



It's 9:34am on my last day in Amsterdam as a resident.



Tomorrow, when I wake up, I will be another traveller, passing through, without an idea of when I will be back in Amsterdam, The Netherlands or even Europe.



In an hour, my mattress will be taken from the house.



So will the 8 boxes and single suitcase of belongings that I have accumulated over the last 3 years.



Then I will return my mobile phone and travel card to the office.



And finally, come home and my bed will get taken away.



And herein, that becomes the end of my life in Amsterdam.



I will have one last dinner with my friends and then go to an airport hotel.



I am not sure what else to write, except that I am not sure how to feel.



I'm 30,  unemployed,  single and soon to be homeless - but as my dear friend Sarah said to me last night, all of this was my choice and that's what's important.



And damn it, that is what is important.



It was important to me 3 years ago that I had options and that I was allowed to choose from all those options with my best interests at heart. I wanted to broaden my world, not shrink it. When I went out into the big bad world, little did I know that after having a buffet of options spread out infront of me, the one that I would ultimately take would lead me back home.



One of the most resounding feelings that I have at the moment is an immense amount of pride. After landing here with no job, no friends, and hardly any money, I leave with almost 3 years experience at an international firm, a varied and fascinating circle of friends ... and still no money, but my life is certainly richer in other areas.



I travelled when it was possible, I shared times with old friends and new, I made stuff (some I liked and enjoyed doing, some I hated making and hated putting my name to), I ate a lot of good food and a lot of bad food, and I met a LOT of people.



I lived a  dream. At times it seemed more like a nightmare because it wasn't everything it was cracked up to be, but I can now say "I lived in Europe." and what is important is that everytime I say that I remember that I was the one that made it happen, and I can hold on to this achievement.



Now that I've ticked that one off the list, it's time to keep moving forward, and keeping ticking more dreams off the list.



So, let the show go on.



Leaving is hard, leaving is sad, leaving is confusing... but there is a quiet sense of faith inside of me that knows that leaving is clearing a path for growth and more rich experiences.



Goodbye Amsterdam. 


Party like it's 1925

I turned 30!




The view from Eerste Atjehstraat





"Just act normal."

 My friend Vanessa told me to do that because I wasn't sure how to say goodbye to Amsterdam.

So, in case nobody's picked up on this yet, I've decided to go back to Australia, thereby ending my time in Europe.

I've resigned from my job, I'm selling my wares and I'm packing up.

I have heard from a few expats here that the 3 year mark is around the time that the city makes you or breaks you. It's the milestone whereby the long term expat community either unconsiously or conciously gives you a "badge of honour", by recognising your determination and ability to stick around.

A knod of understanding that you "get" the things that all the other expats know about living as an ousider to dutch society. 

I have no idea what lies ahead for me. In fact, nothing looks very promising right now.

No job, no house, no car, no outline of a plan.

Well, that's no true.

The Australian economy is going pretty well. My family and friends seem to be looking forward to my return.  

But not having a job, a house, a car or a plan when I move seems to be my kind of thing.

I've done it before and I can do it again.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Ray

“If you want to write, if you want to create, you must be the most sublime fool that God ever turned out and sent rambling. You must write every single day of your life. You must read dreadful dumb books and glorious books, and let them wrestle in beautiful fights inside your head, vulgar one moment, brilliant the next. You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads. I wish you a wrestling match with your Creative Muse that will last a lifetime. I wish craziness and foolishness and madness upon you. May you live with hysteria, and out of it make fine stories — science fiction or otherwise. Which finally means, may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world.”

Ray Bradbury, August 22, 1920 — June 6, 2012

Friday, June 8, 2012

Advice from Slovenia

"...Although (your departure) is a very sad news, I wish you all the best in Australia. Don't forget to follow your dreams, everything else will be ok."

The feedback #2

The Germans.

So particular. So process driven. So detail orientated.

So, that's why it was lovely and rewarding to receive this email this morning from the GM of Marketing in Deustchland....


"Hi Lady Grey



It really was a pleasure working with you. Indeed we did not have too much of that but what I have seen there was a dedication to communication – even in the field is that very rare.



On top of that and that is the most important, you have an outstanding expertise and was a lot of fun working with you.



I wish you all the best and a good start for your new job.



- T "

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Creative Innovations - the creative economy

Creative Innovations - the creative economy

An excerpt from author John Howkins on the Ten Rules for Success



‘Ten Rules for Success’

1.    Invent yourself. Create a unique cluster of personal talents. Own your image. Manage it. Build momentum. Leave school early, if you want, but never stop learning. Dance as if no one is looking. Break the rules. Be clear about your own assets and talents. They are unique. And they are all you have.

2.    Put the priority on ideas, not on data. Create and grown your own creative imagination. Build a personal balance sheet of intellectual capital. Understand patents, copyright, trademarks and other intellectual property laws that protect ideas. Entrepreneurs in the creative economy are more worried if they lose their ability to think than if their company loses money. Think about it.

3.    Be nomadic. Nomads are at home in every country. You can choose your own path and means of travel, and choose how long you stay. Being nomadic does not mean being alone; most nomads travel in groups, at night. Writer Charles Handy says leaders must combine ‘a love of people’ and a ‘capacity for aloofness’. Nomads appreciate both the desert and the oasis; likewise creatives need both solitude and the crowd, thinking alone and working together.

4.    Define yourself by your own (thinking) activities, not by the (job) title somebody else has given you. If you are working for a company X on project Y, say you are working on project Y at company X. People who are brave call themselves ‘thinkers’. Computer companies try to concoct and sell ‘business solutions’ to their client’s problems; in the creative economy we each can think and exchange creative solutions with each other. Play Charles Hampden-Turner’s Infinite Game’, in which everybody seeks a mutually positive outcome.

5.    Learn endlessly. Borrow. Innovate. Remember US Electric Power ad, ‘A New Idea Is Often Two Old Ideas Meeting for the First Time’. Use retro, reinvention, revival – be a magpie. Creative artists scavenge for new ideas. It does not matter where you get ideas from; what does matter is what you do with them. If you’re bored, do something else. Use networks. If you cannot find the right network, start it. Take risks and do unnecessary things. Completely ignore Frederick Winslow Taylor’s famous instruction to the Ford Motor Company’s workers that they should ‘eliminate all false movements, slow movements and useless movements’. Wayward movements can lead to amazing discoveries.

6.    Exploit fame and celebrity. The production costs are small and relatively fixed. Fame is what economists call a ‘sunk cost’, which cannot be recovered but which can be freely exploited at no further expense, and both fame and celebrity bring virtually unlimited rewards in terms of the ability to charge more for one’s services and to revitalize a life or career that is momentarily stuck.  Being well known (even slightly known) is as important in the creative economy of the twenty-first century as good typing speeds were in the clerical economy of the twentieth. The essence of being a star, as shrewdly revealed by David Bowie, is ‘the ability to make yourself as fascinating to others as you are to yourself’. This is not about being famous for fifteen minutes, which is how Andy Warhol characterized the transience of media attention, and being famous for being creative, which was Warhol’s own achievement, long after he had stopped painting or indeed working at all.

7.    Treat the virtual as real and vice versa. Cyberspace is merely another dimension on everyday life. Do not judge reality by whether it is based on technology but by more important and eternal matters such as humanity and truth. Bandwidth is useless without a message, without communication. At all times, use the RIDER process: review, incubation, dreams, excitement and reality checks. Mix dreams and reality to create your own future.

8.    Be kind. Kindness is a mark of success. Data never say ‘please’. Humans can and should say ‘please’, and mean it. People treat each other as they themselves are treated; exactly as a fast computer produces data more quickly, so a kind person will be invited to more networks, receive more knowledge and create more.

9.    Admire success, openly. Martina Navratilova, who won Wimbledon nine times and the US Open four times, was right when she said: ‘The person who said, “It’s not whether you win or lose that counts,” probably lost.’ Equally do not be fixated on success: be curious about failure. Creative people are the strictest judge of their own successes and failures because they want to learn from them (see rule 5). The worst thing is depression, not recession. You will never win if you cannot lose.

10.    Be very ambitious. Boldly go.

11.    Have fun. Film-maker David Puttnam, who starts the next chapter, says, ‘The most exciting, creative period of my life was in the early 1960s at the Collett Dickinson Pearce advertising agency when I was a group head working with Charles Saatchi, Alan Parker (who later directed Midnight Express and Evita) and Ridley Scott (who later directed Alien) – a pretty good group, you’ll agree. But the only thing I remember doing a lot, a really loft of, was tap dancing. We spent hours practising tap dancing and in between we’d work out an ad. It was a fantastic thing. We’d be screaming with laughter, absolutely falling about and meanwhile creating some very remarkable work.’ People who enjoy themselves are not only happier but they achieve more, faster. Above all, do not worry; Tom Wehr of the National Institute of Mental Health, Maryland, says the sleeping brain sorts out the previous day’s affairs as ‘a creative worry factory’. Feed it.

And when writing the ten rules for success in the creative economy, don’t worry if you end up with eleven. You can break your own rules (see rule number 1).

(Pages 155-158)

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The feedback

"I heard the news, it's a shame you're leaving but understandable."

- Global Sales and Marketing Director

The only person higher than him is the CEO.



It's a mother flippin' heatwave yo'...!






You know it's summer when...

... the boats are triple parked on the wharf of your favourite bar.



Hanneke's Boom, Amsterdam




Tuesday, May 22, 2012

What work looks like

Work at the moment looks like a mushed up piece of avocado, splattered across the kitchen counter that is my day.

Freelance work smears itself across the normal working day ( for example, I just spent 3 hours working on an article that has nothing to do with my day job)

Other days I can't get a split second to myself and I am pulled into inane meetings where I wish I was working on all the other things I need to do (which have nothing to do with the day job), and then I get off the train and plonk myself down at my dining table and turn on my mac to do more work until midnight or so.

While I detest my day-job, it has not gone unnoticed by me that I probably won't be able to find another job where I am left so much to my own devices that I can carry on with whatever the fuck I want, until something has to be produced and I have to make it look like I have put a large amount of effort into it. (Scramble to do some research, talk a lot about annoying suppliers and difficult internal stakeholders, describe the art of getting the "story right".... etc etc.)

Am I micro-managed here at the moment? No.

Will I be when I move jobs and countries? Probably, yes.

So my point is, I really need to find a solution where I can combine working on things I like

Or else I am going to have to (pretend to) work a full time job and then come home and moonlight instead of just getting a job that I do like which can tick some satisfaction boxes.

I hope this is feasible.

Other people do it, right? Jobs they like?

Monday, May 21, 2012

Marketing Genius


Amsterdam, why you so funny?

Hoi Tin Chinese Restaurant, Zeedijk



What the universe said


I quit my job last Wednesday.
Everything's going to be ok.





Sunday, May 13, 2012

Dreams and Nightmares



An inspiring post by Paulo Coelho:

No one will realistically think that you can make a living out of literature in Brazil. I faced many difficulties. When I was young, my parents in a desperate act of love, as they cared for me, sent me to a mental institution. They thought I was mad, as I wanted to be a writer. However, I was absolutely convinced about what I wanted to be.

The fact that you know your dreams is not enough. It is not good, living with the fact that you have it in you. You have to think of measures to manifest your dreams and be brave enough to pay the price of it. In a way, I postponed my dreams, and I was almost 40 when I dare to write my first book, The Pilgrimage.

And my second book, The Alchemist, was first published and then put out of print by my first publisher. “This title will never sell more than 900 copies”, he said. Today “The Alchemist is among the best selling books of all times. 

If you are hurt about something that is meaningless to you, you can blame anybody else for it. But it is quite complicated to be hurt about something that is meaningful to you.

Then you get confused, as you know the dream is there. And the dream is not going to leave you as long as you live.

But besides the pain, there is also a great joy. You are fighting for something meaningful. Defeats are part of life, IF you don’t decide to quit.

And at the end of your life, you will understand: the journey was fantastic.

Sunday morning

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Fuckwit central

I had one of the most ridiculous days at work today.

Laughable really.

The HR Director for the ENTIRE WORLD decided last night he had nothing better to do than walk around going through people's cupboards and making sure they were locked.

Mine, of course, was unlocked.

So he locked it and took the key with him and left a post-it note on the front which said "Come and see me tomorrow in the Board Room."

I arrived this morning, took one look at my locker, and almost flipped a table upside down in fury.

My laptop and all my files were inside. Which is exactly the reason he locked it. To teach me a lesson.
Security, blah, blah blah.

Despite the fact that even trying to get past the security guards at our front reception is like trying to sweet talk St Peter to let you into the gates of heaven, as a whore. 

There are almost 700 people that work in my building. Over 3 floors.

Our Collective Labour Agreement is still under negotiation with the unions. We are in the middle of a merger/acquisition. My pension money is probably sinking under some Euro monetary crisis.

This guy is at the head of a Human Resources department which looks after  83,000 employees.

I say, if this is how he spent 2 hours of his day when he gets paid approximately 200K a year, he should be fired for treating his job so lightly.

So I had to go and try and not act livid, and prepare myself to grovel. I felt like I was in highschool. 

When I arrived at the boardroom, there was noone there, and no one else had any idea what he had done with the keys. When I asked the CEO's PA, she rolled her eyes and said "Another one." and my director looked at me and said "What the hell is this guy doing?"

He told her to go tell him I needed my keys. She knocked on his door and asked him and he called back "Take her number, I'll call her."


An hour later, he walked past me to head into a meeting.

At noon, I busted into my director's office, told him I had a deadline, and he told his PA to go fetch my key.

I had officially been unproductive for 2 hours, with people in Singapore waiting on me to send them some documents so they could move on with their work. 

If you want an idea of why companies go under, it's because corporations are  nothing more than poorly run highschools with ego maniacs at the helm. 

I work for a bunch of fuckwits.




Thursday, May 3, 2012

Block head

I get paid to write today but I can't write.

Insert your choice of overwhelming dose of self doubt here.

"This sounds like everything I've ever written."

"This sounds like everything else, everybody else has ever written."

"Those words/sentences/tenses/phrases don't make sense/don't go together/can't go together/don't explain what you're thinking."

"You're making a mockery of this person's work/career/intentions/life goals."

"This piece is about as inspiring and truthful as a script for a tampon commercial."
 



Sunday, April 29, 2012

Queen's Day #3


For sale: Posters and postcards. Designed by Adam. Project managed by me. Overall success. Regardless if we break even or not.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

My little love


It's my god son's first day of school today. Isn't he handsome?

One of many reasons home is so important to me. I love you Arlo, have a great first day of school.

You're going to break some hearts and thrill some teachers. xxx

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Max was here

"M.I" by Max Zorn


I am the proud new owner of this piece of art. Thanks Max Zorn.


Caine's Arcade

When I was about 10, I tried to make my sister a birthday present out of an empty tissue box and a ball of purple wool.

Needless to say, I had obviously been watching too many episodes of MacGuyver.

Nothing eventuated out of that little venture.

This little guy not only did what I couldn't do, he's about to go to college on his creations.

From the generosity of a lot of people who were inspired by this little guy, to date, US$175K has been raised so he can definitely go to college and eventually swim in either as much cardboard and money as he likes.

I'd like to see a camera crew revisit him in about 15 years time.

The psychology of going without Milk

You know you've been in The Netherlands too long when you look in the office fridge for milk, find out there is none, and start going through the 5 stages of grief.

1. Shock and Denial - "What do you mean the interns forgot to buy milk? That can't be true!"

2. Pain and Guilt - "Maybe I should have said something earlier?"

3. Anger and Bargaining - "You mean, I'll have to go get Milk?! That's not MY job! If I give you 2 EU, will you go down to the store and get some milk?"

4. Depression, Reflection, Loneliness - " *sob* But I don't want black coffee. I remember what milky coffee used to taste like. It's not the same without you, milk."

5. Acceptance - "I'll be ok. Maybe there'll be milk in the fridge tomorrow?"

Freelance office

Two observations:

1. There's no milk in the fridge. Where are the interns, and why aren't they doing their job and filling the fridges with milk??? How can I write if I can't drink my standard coffee with milk?
Is it too much to ask to have some freaking milk around???
(Huff, hair flick, pout)

2. Two colleagues are talking about robots having feelings and how in this day and age it should be possible. Totally normal. Totally serious. Totally ok with me.

Freelance fun day

Finally, the only day in my life where I feel like my life might have any sort of purpose or meaning is here.

Freelance day. It only happens once every 2 weeks.

The ideal lifestyle.

I get up at 9 and get ready to cycle to the office. I start at 10 at the office which is in central Amsterdam.

I grab a coffee, get briefed by my editor and then get left alone to write about the arts all day.

Sublime.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Eggtrading 101

Me: But I want the goose that lays the golden egg NOW!!

Kurt: You can't have that. You need to start with one normal egg and then you can use that to get two eggs and then three eggs and then eventually you'll have a whole heap of eggs and THEN you can trade that for a goose that will lay a golden egg.

Me: How profound.

David Ogilvy: A "Lousy copywriter"




David Ogilvy liked rum!

Just like me!

Read below pearls of wisdom from the original and legendary Ad man, from a favourite blog of mine called Letters of note


British-born David Ogilvy was one of the original, and greatest, "ad men." In 1948, he started what would eventually be known as Ogilvy & Mather, the Manhattan-based advertising agency that has since been responsible for some of the world's most iconic ad campaigns, and in 1963 he even wrote Confessions of an Advertising Man, the best-selling book that is still to this day considered essential reading for all who enter the industry. Time magazine called him "the most sought-after wizard in today's advertising industry" in the early-'60s; his name, and that of his agency, have been mentioned more than once in Mad Men for good reason.

With all that in mind, being able to learn of his routine when producing the very ads that made his name is an invaluable opportunity. The fascinating letter below, written by Ogilvy in 1955 to a Mr. Ray Calt, offers exactly that.

(Source: The Unpublished David Ogilvy: A Selection of His Writings from the Files of His Partners; Image: David Ogilvy, courtesy of Ads of the World.)


April 19, 1955

Dear Mr. Calt:

On March 22nd you wrote to me asking for some notes on my work habits as a copywriter. They are appalling, as you are about to see:

1. I have never written an advertisement in the office. Too many interruptions. I do all my writing at home.

2. I spend a long time studying the precedents. I look at every advertisement which has appeared for competing products during the past 20 years.

3. I am helpless without research material—and the more "motivational" the better.

4. I write out a definition of the problem and a statement of the purpose which I wish the campaign to achieve. Then I go no further until the statement and its principles have been accepted by the client.

5. Before actually writing the copy, I write down every concievable fact and selling idea. Then I get them organized and relate them to research and the copy platform.

6. Then I write the headline. As a matter of fact I try to write 20 alternative headlines for every advertisement. And I never select the final headline without asking the opinion of other people in the agency. In some cases I seek the help of the research department and get them to do a split-run on a battery of headlines.

7. At this point I can no longer postpone the actual copy. So I go home and sit down at my desk. I find myself entirely without ideas. I get bad-tempered. If my wife comes into the room I growl at her. (This has gotten worse since I gave up smoking.)

8. I am terrified of producing a lousy advertisement. This causes me to throw away the first 20 attempts.

9. If all else fails, I drink half a bottle of rum and play a Handel oratorio on the gramophone. This generally produces an uncontrollable gush of copy.

10. The next morning I get up early and edit the gush.

11. Then I take the train to New York and my secretary types a draft. (I cannot type, which is very inconvenient.)

12. I am a lousy copywriter, but I am a good editor. So I go to work editing my own draft. After four or five editings, it looks good enough to show to the client. If the client changes the copy, I get angry—because I took a lot of trouble writing it, and what I wrote I wrote on purpose.

Altogether it is a slow and laborious business. I understand that some copywriters have much greater facility.

Yours sincerely,

D.O.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The inspiring nightmare

I heard that Steve was a total prick. He never settled for less than what he wanted, was stubborn, demanding and at times completely disrespectful of those around him.

Having said that, I think he had a tough life in the beginning and to have that level of confidence to ensure your visions are manifested, sometimes these things might have to come into play.

I heard he was the kind of guy that would always say to his designers, "I don't like this start again" and they would say "What don't you like about it?" and he would say " I'm not sure, but I'll know what I like when I see it."

Nightmare.

But you have to give him credit, he's probably just the kind of guy that had the guts to live life by his heart.

Blue or Red?

If you could take a daily pill that would profoundly speed-up the manifestation of all your dreams, would you take it without fail?

Yes, I thought so.

What if it was a big, ugly pill that took 5 minutes to dissolve on your tongue, and it tasted like medicine. Would you still do it?

Yes, all of your dreams…

Thought so too…

But what if during those 5 minutes each day you couldn’t watch TV, or talk with friends, or distract yourself in any way from your chore?

OK, what if you could skip the pill bit entirely, but instead you had to set aside 5 minutes a day to visualize, in a dark and quiet room, seeing your life unfold as if all your dreams were coming true, and for good measure you had to say or do something, each day, that implied the same?

No, you can’t go back to the pill idea.

Yours,
The Universe


From http://thisinspired.me

Thursday, March 8, 2012

FUCK THIS

I am pretty sure I never uttered the words, "When I grow up, I want to become the person that writes meaningless drivel that tries to convince people to buy logistics services."

White guys


Made by me. They are my new thing.



Friday, February 17, 2012

Lessons in

... How to destroy a brand....

- Have a bunch of 50 year old people with no experience in branding, or feelings or idea about the definition of "alignment" get together in a room and do a dance I like to call the "political hot shoe shuffle", while simulataneously waving their dicks in the air at any chance they get.


... How to lose career confidence....

- Sit in a room with people of above nature and realise that whoever screams louder and for longer will get what they want. End of story.


... How to blow off some steam....

- Go to Karnivale in Cologne and just pretend for 30 hours that none of this matters when it really really grates on you.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The little jokes the city plays

I was cycling around the city yesterday on my day off, and I rode past the Westerkerk which is right near the Anne Frank house.

It was chiming a little tune, and while I was speeding down the street, dodging tourists, gliding past the canals, the tinkling followed me.

I tried to place the song and melody.

Then, I swore that I had it worked out.

"Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole.

Very suiting since it was Valentines day.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The new direction from the usual

"The day your life changes starts off like any other day..."

This is a quote from something I watched and I can't remember what.

But ain't that the beauty of magic?

Appears out of nowhere, stems from the seed of things planted ambiguously,or unintentionally, and the universe just went to work behind your back while you ate dinner, took showers, drank beer and slept a little.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Yours sincerely

"..., May the muses embrace you."

The wish author Norman Mailer had for Salman Rushdie, in a letter of encouragement that he wrote.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Je ne l'aime pas.

It comes in waves.

But when it comes, it's quite a strong feeling.

It passes, but it returns often.

The annoyance I get when I realise my mother was wrong and should have let me take French in highschool instead of Chinese.

Which I failed.

Even though I regularly cheated.

Everything cool is either German or French.

Bah!

Friday, January 27, 2012

Australian summer...

Howzat, members area, Ley ley, Australian open, Rod Laver arena, Nadal,came home drunk, blah blah blah...

I remember what it was like now... and I feel bored already.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Australia Day

9:30 Standing at De Clerqstraat tram stop

9:40 Amsterdam Centraal Station, boarding Regional train to Brussels Airport

12:33 Receive sms invitation to go out to Cocos Outback bar tonight. (Amsterdam's only Australian bar.)

13:15 Car ride to Northern European office

13:56 Eating Starbucks chicken salad waiting for 2pm meeting to commence

15:08 Heated discussion with Northern European Marketing Director

15:40 Running to catch train back to Amsterdam

15:56 Dissecting heated discussion with Northern European Marketing Director with fellow colleague over Belgian Waffles with Nutella at Brussels Central Station

17:12 Discover Triple J hottest 100 winner is Gotye's "Somebody that I used to know".
("You're just somebody that I used to know.") Realise Gotye is originally Belgian and I am spending Australia day in Belgium.

18:30 Decline invitation to Cocos. After being accused of being "Unaustralian", send a prompt response by retorting " But I can listen to "You're the voice" at full volume and eat lamb sausages at my house without the sweaty backpackers and horny dutch girls trampling on me..." (Based on 2011 experience of Australia Day at Cocos)

19:10 Tram 13 home, debating if I should be going out.

19:55 Hot shower, ugg boots, laptop.

Goodnight Australia.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Ick. IKEA.


Inside a large maze of fake rooms
Kids are lost, wailing "Mummy?"
Everything needs instructions
A lively buzz fueled by meatballs

- written by me as a poetical wrap of my first single IKEA experience.

I went to IKEA today to buy a new bed since I am moving house at the end of the week and the bed frame I have now belongs to the house.

I felt so strange buying a bed. I am so furniture adverse for the consequences of moving and owning such hefty items.

I walked into IKEA and broke out in a cold sweat seeing young families, young couples, heavily pregnant women contemplating cots, and young men thinking about home office systems.

People that have settled down.

Then I chose a bed with storage options underneath it and I was frazzled for about an hour. Then we went and had Swedish meatballs and fries in the cafeteria and I calmed down a little bit.

Everything here is so uncertain. I have concerns about my visa being out of date when I turn 30 in 5 months time because of the salary conditions that come with it.

All I want is just one more year.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Danger zone

A colleague just said the exact same thing I was thinking, about a highly personal matter.

It freaked me out a little bit.

"Get out of my head...," I told her "It's not a safe place to be."

Saturday, January 14, 2012

The Fear

I am kind of afraid of my future.

I remember Australia and then I get nolstalgic and homesick.

And then I remember other things about Australia and I am glad I am not there.

But then I walk outside of my apartment and I feel like I don't belong here at all.

So I wonder what it's going to be like to be 32 year old me. Which is only 2.5 years away.

Because the 27.5 version of me was afraid of the future for different reasons. And she had every reason to be.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

WANTED

Wanted: A benefactor to support all my crazy projects.

They just need to fund my modest lifestyle of soy lattes and internet connection and mobile phone bill while I concoct ideas and put them into action.

Sometimes I have so many awesome ideas I have no idea how I'm going to do them all this lifetime.

Going to work really gets in the way of my creative mojo.

The quiet life

I have been staying in quite a bit lately and it's been really good for my soul.

Taking the time while my friends have been away to just be in, not worry about where my bike is, or rush around.

I have the first mass gathering tonight since the middle of December, a warm up "Homecoming dinner." party. (since not everyone is back yet.)

My tasks for today?

Clean my room and buy a chicken that will feed 8.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

29 going on 19

image from my favourite site about sarcasm and home truths, some ecards



I am too old to be data entering things into power point presentations like a fucking admin bitch.


And not only am I too old, I am too experienced.


I am at the point where I should be using my brain to create, strategise and brainstorm radical ideas and concepts and solutions, not to copy, paste, edit graphs and tables like someone who's interning.


Today, at the freelance office, I directed a video edit about an academy award winning director, with an intern at my disposal.


Tonight, I sit at my dining room table, plugging numbers into Powerpoint presentations to make it look like I have been doing something productive during the week at the day job because what I really do when I am at work is USE MY BRAIN for side projects so my brain won't rot.


Talk about contrast.




Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Amen


image courtesy of PostSecret


Can someone please put this on a freaking billboard?!

Or multiple billboards around the world?

Or on a compulsory higher education curriculum?

Theatrics



"In the concert of life, nobody receives a program"

- Old Dutch Proverb



Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The shift

Art by my favourite street artist, C215



“And when the event, the big change in your life, is simply an insight--isn't that a strange thing? That absolutely nothing changes except that you see things differently and you're less fearful and less anxious and generally stronger as a result: isn't it amazing that a completely invisible thing in your head can feel realer than anything you've experienced before? You see things more clearly and you KNOW that you're seeing them more clearly. And it comes to you that this is what it means to love life, this is all anybody who talks seriously about God is ever talking about. Moments like this."

― Jonathan Franzen, The Corrections

Monday, January 2, 2012

Blink


Street art around the corner from my house, on De Clerqstraat.
Drawings by Antiorde and Prose by Laser 3.14




“We need to look at the subtle, the hidden, and the unspoken.”
Malcolm Gladwell



We are all capable of making GOOD decisions in a split second. First impressions count.

I had forgotten about this little lesson. It was so important to me when I first moved here, and somewhere along the line I shelved it somewhere.

The skill of assessing in the moment comes from the beautiful and enigmatic computer which is the mind, flipping through a database of a gabillion experiences and memories that the body has stored as a reference point.

Sometimes the signs aren't even that cryptic, they are visibly out there (or out there in touch, smell, sound or taste.) Society has assigned certain values to semiotic symbols, (hence the creation of stereotypes) which speak volumes at a glance.

In the end, how you feel about a situation, scenario or person and the energy or vibe you are getting from it comes from a process that has already happened internally before you've even had a chance to understand the logic.

And if you're feeling anything less than comfortable with the situation, it's time to turn around and walk away, cut it loose or call it a night.

The swagger that speaks louder than the smile. The club that is lit up with beats blasting but there is something not quite right about crowd. The email that sounds innocent but hides a trap.

Alternatively, you should persist if there's something telling you that everything's going to be ok.

New Years Eve Road trip


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Germany!

Cologne never disappoints!

Fire crackers and fireworks on the street, Kölsch, super cute German boys, the Ronettes, Knudels and Beef!