Marketing Genius

Amsterdam, why you so funny?

Hoi Tin Chinese Restaurant, Zeedijk

The mist

My building.

Amsterdam has been covered in a misty fog for the last few weeks, and I am absolutely loving it.

It reminds me of a couple of things.

I looked outside my front windows today and I had a nolstalgic moment of home.

The fog in the Adelaide Hills was always pretty disorientating and quite dangerous when you're speeding up the freeway at 100 kilometres per hour, but I always loved it.

The colours of autumn in the trees at the park across the road, in conjunction with the mist made me think about the Adelaide Hills, and how nice it was there, and how nice it is here right now. Not too cold at six degrees, just nice.


Also brings me back to when I first arrived and ended up housesitting Pia's houseboat along an inner city canal at the beginning of winter. The streets along that canal are all cobblestoned with old street lamps illuminating the way home. I was walking back from my first Christmas dinner with the company, and wondering if I would end up staying in Amsterdam to see another winter.

I had joked with my boss at the time that since there was no guarantee of me being around next year as I was on a contract, we should go all out on the dinner and go nuts with the wine. I walked home (the houseboat) from the museum restaurant, through the mist and fog and I remember feeling like I was walking through an old movie, expecting Sherlock Holmes and some bloodhounds to come tearing around the corner. (Understanding that this isn't London, I'm just trying to convey how old world it felt.)

The first week I was there, it was like living in Sleepy Hollow.

Then fast forward to the weekend just been, I spent it with friends doing fun things, sometimes creative, sometimes absurd, sometimes pointless.

Last night, I stayed at a friend's house after a paticularly huge Saturday night out with a few other people, and my friend AHS and I were cycling over a bridge over the Amstel river trying to navigate our way home.

We had all been watching movies inside the entire day, bravely fighting hangovers with toasted cheese sandwiches, kapsalon (literally, "The Hairdresser" - which is a dutch fast food kebab invention of kebab meat, covered in melted cheese, aoili, salad, and tomato sauce and fries) and coffee.

As I cycled next to AHS, we could barely see through the dense cloud that surrounded us, not even being able to see the lights along the river, or the illuminated outline of the Skinny bridge (Magere Brug), Amsterdam's most famous bridge. Being inside all day with Australians and watching American movies, it was very easy to forget where I was.

"Don't you feel like you're in a movie?"

"Yeah. All the time. I hope it never ends." he said.

All the ranting and wailing in my previous post was just a basic frustration about my job and the whole situation with being owned by the company.

But it's that same job that allows me to have the great times that I do, stay with the great friends that I have and experience "normal" things like cycling home through thick fog.

I went to bed last night, and looked outside my bedroom window and saw the transluscent mist floating around and I kind of gasped unintentionally.

I went to bed grateful.

Loud n clear?!?

Hey Universe

Do you need a hearing aid?

Perhaps you're not au fait with the english language and I need to do more interpretive dance?

Or can you not read my handwriting?

Should I write in red 172 point font?

Because I am pretty sure I am doing everything I am supposed to be doing on my end and this was a two way deal.

I like to move it, move it.

I wish

a) it was me in this video

b) alternatively me, and the boy in this video, together

c) alternative number 2; I had helped make this video

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

Watch it full screen.

Seamless. Amazing. Enviable.

MOVE from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH. Your ego is getting in the way of legibility.

Dutch Colleague: We need to talk about your copywriting.

Me: What's wrong with the copy?

Dutch Colleague: This word is wrong... and this one... and this one.

Me: There's nothing wrong with it. (reading) It was written by an agency in the UK, I checked and corrected it, and had this checked by our boss... you know, the American one. He's approved this.

Dutch colleague: But shouldn't this word be in the past tense? I don't think it makes sense.

Me: Are you honestly asking me to correct my writing?

Dutch colleague: Well, I just want to know why you used this word instead of another one? It doesn't sound right.

Me: Is english your first language? Have you spoken it for the last 26 years and written it and earnt a business degree in it in the last, say 5 years?

Dutch colleague: umm...

Me: Right. I'll be at the coffee machine.

Two minds... one exact thought.

I've just spent some time catching up on snippets of news on my favourite (aka my only) english news source on dutch a current affairs.

They provide rough translations on certain press stories around the country on a daily basis, with opportunity to comment on articles.

Here are some of my favourite headlines to date - see if you can think of the words I am thinking of once you read them:

- Fear of foreigners 'understandable and justified', says Verhagen
Tuesday 28 June 2011

- Wide support for new integration policy
Monday 20 June 2011

- Multiculturalism must go: Donner
Friday 17 June 2011

- UN 'greatly concerned' at Dutch foreign policy shift: NRC
Thursday 16 June 2011

- The Netherlands needs migrant labour, parliament told
Wednesday 15 June 2011


If you guessed "narrow minded" and "ironic" , you would be right.

It's so weird: people in my office are lovely to me, and I wonder if that's because they are educated and more worldly.

These articles make it feel like I am living in a place far more redneck than Queensland when I walk out on the street, and it's probably a little bit true, but as people keep telling me, Amsterdam and it's population are not representative of the rest of the country.

I don't feel like this in general (that I am surrounded by bigots on a daily basis) but the general atmosphere around these parts is that you are either an anglo saxon dutch local who speaks perfect accentless dutch, or you aren't. Clear cut distinction which gets you various types of treatment.


Here are some classic lines out of various sections of the aforementioned articles:

-The Netherlands will need some 250,000 workers by 2020 to offset the effect of the greying population, a government commission was told on Wednesday, the Financieele Dagblad reports.


- Three-quarters of the population supports the government's new policy on integration, according to a poll on Sunday by Maurice de Hond.

- The poll also shows that 83% of voters are in favour of a ban on the burka.

- Home affairs minister Piet Hein Donner on Thursday announced the government would distance itself from the idea of a multicultural society. It is up to immigrants to integrate into Dutch society and general policy on schooling, jobs and housing gives them ample opportunity, he said.

Dutch society and its values must take precedence, he said. There would be a tougher approach to people who ignore Dutch values or disobey the law. He wants to introduce a law making forced marriage illegal and tougher measures on the way immigrants dress, which could include a burka ban.


- Dutch society and its values must take precedence and integration policy should go, home affairs minister Piet Hein Donner told parliament on Thursday evening during the presentation of his integration bill.


-Donner wants an end to integration policy and a tougher approach to people who ignore Dutch values or disobey the law. He is planning to introduce a law making forced marriage illegal and he wants tougher measures for immigrants who lower their chance of employment by the way they dress.



In response, somebody wrote the below comment on one of the articles, and I think it is actual social commentary GOLD. I wish I could meet this person and shake their hand because it's just so true, it's actual side splittingly hilarious.

I have roughly translated the key dutch words in brackets for the sake of understanding.

"The Dutch governement should absolutely revoke the residence permits of anyone who doesn't ride an oma fiets (typical dutch bike), who doesn't eat a broodje kaaas (cheese sandwhich) everyday for lunch except on fridays, who doesn't use the words 'lekker' (delicious) and 'leuk'(nice) as their prime vocabulary, all men who don't wear ill-fitting suits and pointy brown shoes, all women over 30 who don't look more like men than men do, all those who know how to queue, who don't bump into everyone the pass in the streets, who go to concerts to talk through it, and anyone who isn't absolutely boorish."

By NotImpressed | June 17, 2011 10:21 AM

Seoul Shine

Just when I thought I was over travelling and the lustre of foreigness and the unknown.

Just when I thought you could throw me in the pits of various situations of strange, and unfamiliar and kind of freaky without me breaking into a sweat.

That feeling came over me again last night: Wonder, a little bit of fear, curiousity.

I was on an overnight stopover in Seoul, waiting for my flight back to Amsterdam via London.

Flouro lights, animations and magic wand sounds of "zing/zap/kapow" in every tv show and every restaurant, large and confusing shapes that make language characters, meat on a stick, pale, coy and elegant girls that cover their mouths when they giggle and talk in a barely audible volume, toilets with heated seats and buttons that shoot water and hot air in... unexpected places....

I think I just got bitten by the North Asia travel bug....

Awkward I - Live in their living room

Concerts in your living room. Your room as a live music venue.
Or in this case, in the living room of my buddies Audrey and Laura.



One minute you're watching a you tube video, the next minute you're eating cookies, and drinking punch with a mixture of strangers, well known music bloggers, and friends watching a dutch guy jam underneath the same overhanging lights you ate Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas dinner, and launched your blog under.

Endless cool stuff happens in this city.

"Eureka - It's foreign cows that are the real problem in this country!"

PVV turns its attention to Highland cows
Thursday 17 February 2011

The anti-Islam PVV in the province of Gelderland think ‘imported exotic’ animals such as Scottish highland cows and ponies from Poland should be removed from the landscape, the Telegraaf reports.

The paper says the PVV’s local provincial election campaign leader Olof Wullink believes the animals should go, saying the region needs ‘our own nature’.

The comments were made in a local television programme on Sunday.

A spokesman for the Dutch nature conservation group Natuurmonumenten told the broadcaster on Thursday that the PVV´s suggestion is ´absurd´. Highland cattle make a good substitute for the original Dutch wild cattle which have since died out, the organisation said.

© DutchNews.nl

"Mum, Dad, I have something to tell you..."

"I got married today. To two people."

Hah. Not likely, but at least I know I live in the country where these kinds of options are possible.

Check out the archives of the Brussels Journal

World around me

So, enough about me.

What's going on in this crazy, topsy turvy country they call The Netherlands?

I'm a little bit late, but check out something that has been happening in debate for the last few months.

Not a local? No weed for you.

But how does one define a local? Hmmmm.




No weed pass, no cannabis, Dutch tell foreigners

c/o The Independent

A ruling from the EU's top court could mark the end of the Netherlands' welcoming coffee-shop culture

By Jerome Taylor in Maastricht




Wednesday, 15 December 2010

The right-wing Dutch government wants to ban foreigners from buying cannabis in coffee shops

A frozen afternoon in the Dutch city of Maastricht and the winter market on the banks of the river Meuse fills the air with festive aromas of spiced wine, waffles and grilled sausages. It's exactly the kind of attraction that you would expect tourists to flock to. But the stalls are eerily quiet.


In this cobblestoned corner of the Netherlands most international visitors are after a different sort of scent and you don't have to walk far to find it.

Just behind the market, a few hundred yards back from the riverbank, is Easy Going Coffee Shop, one of 14 premises in a town of 120,000 that are licensed to sell cannabis. Even in the middle of the week business is booming as a long line of day trippers queue up to buy bags with names like Amnesia, Pollem Gold and White Widow.

For more than thirty years tourists have flocked to the Netherlands to indulge in a legal high courtesy of the country's famously soft stance on weed. An estimated two million Britons alone visit Amsterdam each year with hundreds of thousands peeling off to sample some of the pungent goods inside one of the city's ubiquitous coffeeshops. Small border cities, meanwhile, can expect as many as three quarters of their regulars to be foreign. Maastricht – a southern offshoot of the Netherlands sandwiched between Belgium and Germany – receives an astonishing 2.1million drug tourists a year.

But the free-wheeling dope days may soon be over for British visitors if the Netherlands' new centre-right coalition government has its way. Following growing complaints over rising crime in the country's border towns – and a string of recent drug-related shootings in the south – the Dutch government has signaled its intention to ban foreigners from buying cannabis altogether.

Tomorrow [THURS], following a request for advise from the Holland's highest court, the European Court of Justice will decide whether such a ban contravenes European law, where free trade rules forbid discriminating against purchasers on grounds of nationality.

Confident of a favourable verdict stating that drugs are not subject to the same rules as legal goods, Justice and Security Minister Ivo Opstelten has already announced a plan to turn the country's 700 coffeehouses into private members clubs, effectively making them out of bounds for foreigners.

Coffeshop owners say they'll fight such moves in the courts and warn that any further attempt to crack down on the legal sale of cannabis will simply force people into the hands of criminals.

“People have been using drugs for 5,000 years and they will continue to do so,” says Marc Josemans, the 50-year-old owner of Easy Going Coffee Shop who is leading an ongoing court challenge against any bans on foreigners buying cannabis. “The question is do you want people to use a soft drug like cannabis in a controlled environment where the whole system is transparent, or do you want to increase the repression and force people to buy from criminal networks where hard and soft drugs are sold in the same room?”

Under the proposed legislation, only those with a registered “wietpassen” (weed pass) would be allowed to buy cannabis in what has been touted as the most radical attempt to overturn the Dutch cannabis laws in decades.

“Of course tourists are welcome to visit the Netherlands but not only to visit the coffee shops,” Mr Opselten said recently. “In the near future, if we work out the processes, the coffee shops will not be accessible to tourists.”

For day trippers like David and Patrick, two British students currently studying in Belgium, the “weed pass” would mean no more trips across the border to smuggle stocks back to their student digs.

“It would change the entire way I view Holland,” said David, who declined to give his second name. “It would turn back all the progressive work the Dutch have done on drugs,” added Patrick. “Pot tourists don't do anything wrong and if they ban it, we'll simply have to buy from regular dealers back in Belgium”.

The debate over drugs in the Netherlands has often swung between full legalisation and an outright ban but in the past ten years the winds have been blowing against the coffeeshop owners with the number of licensed premises dropping from 1200 to less than 700 today amid increasingly strict licensing rules.

Coffeeshops like Easy Going, for instance, already take a digital copy of all their customers' IDs and store them for 48 hours (the Netherlands has strict privacy laws restricting how long CCTV images can be kept for).

But following a spate of drug-related murders last month the current government – a rickety coalition between two centre-right parties and Geert Wilders' staunchly anti-immigrant PVV – is pushing ahead with its plans to bring in a pass system.

The drug violence stems from the peculiarly grey status of cannabis in Dutch law. Contrary to popular belief, pot is not legal in the Netherlands – only the sale of no more than five grammes of cannabis through licensed coffeeshops is.

The production of cannabis itself is still forbidden, leaving the country in a bizarre legal limbo where coffeeshop owners are forced to buy from the same criminal networks that supply the hard drug market – a market that some are all too willing to fight over with guns.

Last month violence erupted across Brabant, a densely populated southern state and a traditional heartland for cannabis growers. In the space of little more than three weeks two people from Eindhoven were shot dead in alleged drug hits (one of the victims' bodies was found in the trunk of a burnt out Mercedes, the other was shot in the head eight times). A surburban house was also sprayed with more than 100 bullets.

In nearby Helmond a new coffeeshop was gutted in a grenade attack whilst Jacob Fons, the town's mayor, has gone into hiding because of death threats.

“He has been threatened in such a manner that he can no longer live in his house and has to have a bodyguard to keep him safe,” said Johan Beelen, Mr Fons press secretary, when the Independent tried to contact him. “You can't meet him”.

Although some coffeeshop owners say those killed were involved in the hard drugs trade, not cannabis production, the police in Brabant are convinced there's a direct connection to the pot market.

“We are under the impression that [the recent violence] is about cannabis because cannabis is hot stuff at the moment,” says Henri van Pinxteren, a spokesman for Brabant's police force. “A lot of cannabis is grown in the area and it's not just for the Dutch market. It goes out to France, Germany, Belgium and the UK. It's a profitable business for criminals and they fight over it.”

The government's answer has been to fast track weed passes for the Brabant area as a test case to see whether the system can be rolled out across the country. Only those registered locally will be allowed to buy cannabis meaning anyone from out of town – including foreigners – will be refused entry.

The government says the passes will help police get a grip on drug crime. But critics say such measures will do little to curb the violence and will force people further into the arms of the criminal gangs that are behind the shootings.

“Around 75% of towns and villages in the Netherlands have no coffeeshops and people have to travel to the larger towns to find one,” says Nicole Maalste, a criminologist at the University of Tilburg who has written extensively on the drugs in the Netherlands. “If you start bringing in a system where you only allow locals to access the coffeeshops what will happen to that 75%? They will have no choice but to go to the criminal backdoor networks.”

Banning sales to foreigners, meanwhile, might halt some of the traffic and crime problems in the border towns, but it would also deprive such areas of a major source of revenue in difficult economic times. An independent study in Maastricht commissioned by the coffeshops estimated that “drug tourists” bring in 141m euros a year. “That's the spend outside of the coffeeshops,” says Mr Josemans. “It doesn't even include the money they spend in here.”

Sitting in the office above his coffeeshop, a joint in had, Mr Josemans knows he has a fight on his hands. “Politicians have come at us before, but never like this,” he says. “I just hope they're thinking about the long term future. Not just looking for a quick way to win quick votes”.

The calling

Berlin. Ich liebe dich. Something pulling me to you. Don't deny we have something.

2 in a row

In August I went to a little place called Proef Restaurant in Amsterdam for quite a unique dining experience. I wrote about it here.

I turned the fun time into an article, which just got published today. You can read it here.

Happy days.

Identity is fluid

When Papas and I were in Barcelona, we had one of the greatest things happen to us, that one can only hope for when you go travelling...

We stumbled across a tiny and awesome retro bar (called "Pile 43". Weird name. Good Bar.) that was just what we were looking for. I promptly ordered us some drinks and we seated ourselves amongst the bar dwellers. Two girls in a bar - of course, the recipe to have people start talking to us.

We met some expats, I mean, internationals that all worked at Hewlett Packard.

Guy 1: English
Girl 1 : French
Guy 2: Dutch
Guy 4: Born in Egypt but considers himself more Irish.
Girl 2: Unknown. She didn't say and I couldn't place her accent.

Guy 4 was of interest to me. He was 2 days away from going home and he was very, very excited.

"I can't take the heat here, I need to go back to Ireland."

Born in Cairo but preferred Ireland's weather.

Odd, right?

Or is it?

Who am I to say where this dude belongs and what he should prefer, just because I have ideas about his birthplace and his genetics? I don't. In fact, I think it's more of a cute juxtaposition. And this global village I live in is full of them.

I met a lady at a housewarming party last month who was raised born in the US, raised French, but also has an Israeli passport, lived in Amsterdam for 14 years.

In fact, nearly half the people I meet here can not give me an introduction about where they are from without a 45 second spiel as opposed to a one word answer defining their nationality.

My point is moreso about a couple of things that have been primary considerations in my motivations to experience life here: What is identity? Can labels really serve the function of describing something so multi-faceted as a human being? And does it soley rely on being the feeling of belonging, whether it is to a culture or a country or a race? Can the outside world serve as an accurate mirror to project to yourself who you really are, and where you should be?

I read somewhere that you shouldn't get too attached to any ideas of who you were, who you are now, and especially who you are likely to become - identity is so fluid.

I just read a blog article, written as a self interrogation by an Indonesian born, American raised, Belgian living mountain climber about identity and settling down, entitled, "So, what is home, to you?".(You can read it here.) I loved his description of himself:

"Indonesian by name, birth, and food-culture... American by upbringing, dreams, and aspirations ... Chinese by work ethics, humility, and compassion ... Franco-Flemish by pragmatism, appreciation of life, and beer-passion ... Small-town boy at heart with a global perspective in the mind ... Confused by identity and values but a big believer in the culture of tolerance at the end. Or so I would like to see myself to be ... (the rest see my blog, or decide for yourself)"


I also just read on the same website, an article about repatriating - the return home after living life abroad. "Going home", which you can read here. Blogger and author talks about our bodies holding the same water that comes from our place of birth. Interesting concept- home is where our genetic and physical structure matches the environment of our birthplace. But the author also talks about our concept of home being affiliated with a culture or a people, or a sense of belonging, and some internationals say "the source of contentment is within you and you don’t really need to change country to find that."

My friend Sarah says that she makes her home wherever she is. With her belongings, and her touches on the house, and her relationships with her environment, her inspirations and the people she loves.

Personally, I love all of these ideas. And after having Papas stay with me for a week, and being able to show her " a week in the life of" full of all my little hotspots, and my super cute apartment and introducing her to the people in my life right now, I can definitvely say, Amsterdam is a home.

Automatic reply

I am currently out of the office. Kindly give your outrageous, irritating and dispicable requests to some other sucker for the next two weeks.

Retrospective 3: Getting Fresh @ Appelsap

Victor Crezee - What say you and me get married?
(image by Dennis Branko)

1st August 2010


Ain't no party like a hip hop party, and a 10 year anniversary at that.


"Appelsap" ("Apple juice"), Amsterdam's annual, open air, free hip hop festival in the Oost celebrated 10 years of rhymes, breaks, and beats on Sunday afternoon/evening.

This city just continues to spread musical love - the second full day free open air concert I've been to this summer: cue the mention of the Roots Festival, a whole day World music festival which was also free in June this year.

A categorically different strategy on bringng families and communities together, I have observed. The thing is, the whole mentality on what sorts of events bring the community together is 180 degrees different to Australia.

With there being nearly 5000 people at Appelsap, it was strange to observethe amount of community love. I felt like an event like this in my hometown would have brought out the pre pubescent wannabes in combination with the general dregs of society from the Outer suburbs, and been a huge arena for dickhead-like behaviour.

The audience here consisted of some very hip Daddy O's, families, and mostly insanely street chic twenty and thirty somethings. Sure, there was a bit of ego around the place, but nothing that spilled over into acts of aggression or power. It was serious love for the music and the hip hop community all around.

Speaking of ego, I know I said I felt really safe and comfortable, but there was a very peculiar and strange, isolated incident which occured, which relates to me saying I wish I had some photos to show you on here, but I almost got beaten up by an aggressive festival punter for pulling out my Fisheye camera. ( And did not have any ill effects on my love for this festival whatsoever.)

There I was, sitting innocently after an hour or two of burning up the (asphalt) dancefloor , by the cupcake stand. I wanted to take a photo of the very atmospheric outdoor decorations, so I pulled out the camera, and my supa brite Lomo flash caught the attention of one paranoid, possibly schizophrenic little lady.

From 5 metres away from me, her eyes make contact with me, with a glare that could burn a hole through Titanium.

I was initially confused. Then scared. Very, very scared.

She then proceeded to march over to me to interrogate me about my intentions with heresaid photo. In dutch, I might add.

"Errr, engels?" I said, almost cowering in terror under the picnic table. (Please don't hit me. I don't have any health insurance yet.)

"Why you gotta take photos?"

"I wasn't aiming at you..." (...Ms Paranoid. Are you a F grade MC celebrity or something? Is your entourage hiding behind the giant bassline speaker over there?)

"Don't be taking no photos around here." ( Did I miss something? Is there a flourescent light screaming "Amateur photographers will be shot. B-Boys with cameras only"?)

"Delete it," she ordered.

"Er. I can't. "

"Why not?" she bellowed.

"It's not digital."

She looked at me, shook her head and waved her finger in my face.

"Don't let me catch you takin' no more photos around here."

It is with a bit of relief (to be alive) and a bit of regret that I can only present to you with a few photos from Appelsap from talented polished photographers Dennis Branko, and Dennis de Groot.


God daaaaaaaamn:

what a good looking city.

Oosterpark Massive

(image from Appelsap Official website)

What up Appelsap?????

(images from Dennis Branko)

La Melodia - A Fierce MC. I thoroughly enjoyed your energy. Applause.
(image by Dennis De Groot)

Vic Crezee - You had me from "Double Up". A little note: You look good from a dancefloor.
(image by Dennis de Groot)

Mr Wix
(image by Dennis de Groot)

DJ Abstract
(image by Dennis de Groot)

Retrospective #1: World Cup 2010 Finale

11th July 2010, World Cup Finale, Oranje (NL) Vs The Red Fury (ESP)

The first time in 32 years that Holland has reached the Finals.

The cycle from my hood, to Museumplein to join 160,000 other peeps, the shower of orange flowers, and the escape from claustrophobia to a cosier neighborhood street party in the Old South.

3.30pm: The Brown Bar opposite my house starts to buzz.

6.05pm: "I'll meet you at Museumplein in ten mins.. Wait, there's how many people there?! Do you think we should change the plans???" ; Corner of Bilderdijkstraat and De Clerqstraat

4.08pm: A pretty orange peacock; Corner of Bilderdijkstraat and De Clerqstraat

4:10pm: Museumplein, facing the West

4:11pm: Museumplein facing the Rijksmuseum

8:00pm: A great address for watching the madness, Museumplein

8:25pm: Museumplein facing the Rijksmuseum

8:27pm: The choppers convene for the shower of Orange, Museumplein

8:29pm: Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, Museumplein

9:35pm: Escaped the claustrophobia to a neighborhood widescreen party in the Old South

Dutch domination

Nederlands 3

Uruguay 2

They are in...!!!!

Pretty amazing stuff to be experiencing here. Honestly, I never thought they were going to be able to do it. What do I know about soccer... I was going to say "nothing", but I know more than I know about cricket. But I didn't think the dutch had a chance really. I'm thinking Brazil, Argentina, Italy, Germany - Yes, Yes, Yes. Netherlands? Meh.

I cycled home from a soccer party (Who am I?!) held at a monstrous dutch student household that a kiwi friend, Christina, invited me to. (These jongens weren't fooling around. Their backyard had couches, tarps and a projector beaming the game on a white piece of fabric. Heineken flowed as freely as cursing, and eventually, man hugs.)

As I made my way home, right hand steering the bike, bandaged hand flailing about, (notably, I was taking a major chance with the one handed cycling. I won't get into the part where I narrowly missed an ill fated 2 car, 3 bike pile up on my way to the party) the noise of trumpets and cheers was deafening. Orange clad blonde giants spilled out onto the streets, chanting dutch songs about victory, championship and just blatant non sensical noises of jubilation. Cue random strangers clutching each other, misty eyed. Spot conga lines gyrating past suddenly grounded trams, motionless due to being enveloped by throngs of people. As I cycled past bars and weaved across streets, people were trying to high five me and grab my bandaged hand. I had to smile nervously and pedal faster, gritting my teeth;

"Thanks for reaching out to me in this moment of solidarity but if you touch my hand I am going to have to get off my bike and smack you in the face with that trumpet."

Ja, sorry hoor, ik ben heel blij voor jouw, maar ik wil niet dat je nu me aanraken!

Tot Zondag - Wie zal de Wereld Kup winnen? Nederlands of Spanje of Duitsland?

The definition of cultural patience

Waiting quietly while your moroccan - dutch beautician finishes a conversation with her friend through the open doorway of her therapy room - midway through your leg wax - while you are pantless.

No, i wasn't feeling awkward. Not at all.

Hup Holland Hup

Chaos in the streets as Netherlands beats Brazil 2: 1, in the bid for World Cup Glory.

Pictures to come.