Showing posts with label My so called career. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My so called career. Show all posts

Friday, June 8, 2012

The feedback #2

The Germans.

So particular. So process driven. So detail orientated.

So, that's why it was lovely and rewarding to receive this email this morning from the GM of Marketing in Deustchland....


"Hi Lady Grey



It really was a pleasure working with you. Indeed we did not have too much of that but what I have seen there was a dedication to communication – even in the field is that very rare.



On top of that and that is the most important, you have an outstanding expertise and was a lot of fun working with you.



I wish you all the best and a good start for your new job.



- T "

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The feedback

"I heard the news, it's a shame you're leaving but understandable."

- Global Sales and Marketing Director

The only person higher than him is the CEO.



Tuesday, May 22, 2012

What work looks like

Work at the moment looks like a mushed up piece of avocado, splattered across the kitchen counter that is my day.

Freelance work smears itself across the normal working day ( for example, I just spent 3 hours working on an article that has nothing to do with my day job)

Other days I can't get a split second to myself and I am pulled into inane meetings where I wish I was working on all the other things I need to do (which have nothing to do with the day job), and then I get off the train and plonk myself down at my dining table and turn on my mac to do more work until midnight or so.

While I detest my day-job, it has not gone unnoticed by me that I probably won't be able to find another job where I am left so much to my own devices that I can carry on with whatever the fuck I want, until something has to be produced and I have to make it look like I have put a large amount of effort into it. (Scramble to do some research, talk a lot about annoying suppliers and difficult internal stakeholders, describe the art of getting the "story right".... etc etc.)

Am I micro-managed here at the moment? No.

Will I be when I move jobs and countries? Probably, yes.

So my point is, I really need to find a solution where I can combine working on things I like

Or else I am going to have to (pretend to) work a full time job and then come home and moonlight instead of just getting a job that I do like which can tick some satisfaction boxes.

I hope this is feasible.

Other people do it, right? Jobs they like?

Monday, May 21, 2012

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Fuckwit central

I had one of the most ridiculous days at work today.

Laughable really.

The HR Director for the ENTIRE WORLD decided last night he had nothing better to do than walk around going through people's cupboards and making sure they were locked.

Mine, of course, was unlocked.

So he locked it and took the key with him and left a post-it note on the front which said "Come and see me tomorrow in the Board Room."

I arrived this morning, took one look at my locker, and almost flipped a table upside down in fury.

My laptop and all my files were inside. Which is exactly the reason he locked it. To teach me a lesson.
Security, blah, blah blah.

Despite the fact that even trying to get past the security guards at our front reception is like trying to sweet talk St Peter to let you into the gates of heaven, as a whore. 

There are almost 700 people that work in my building. Over 3 floors.

Our Collective Labour Agreement is still under negotiation with the unions. We are in the middle of a merger/acquisition. My pension money is probably sinking under some Euro monetary crisis.

This guy is at the head of a Human Resources department which looks after  83,000 employees.

I say, if this is how he spent 2 hours of his day when he gets paid approximately 200K a year, he should be fired for treating his job so lightly.

So I had to go and try and not act livid, and prepare myself to grovel. I felt like I was in highschool. 

When I arrived at the boardroom, there was noone there, and no one else had any idea what he had done with the keys. When I asked the CEO's PA, she rolled her eyes and said "Another one." and my director looked at me and said "What the hell is this guy doing?"

He told her to go tell him I needed my keys. She knocked on his door and asked him and he called back "Take her number, I'll call her."


An hour later, he walked past me to head into a meeting.

At noon, I busted into my director's office, told him I had a deadline, and he told his PA to go fetch my key.

I had officially been unproductive for 2 hours, with people in Singapore waiting on me to send them some documents so they could move on with their work. 

If you want an idea of why companies go under, it's because corporations are  nothing more than poorly run highschools with ego maniacs at the helm. 

I work for a bunch of fuckwits.




Tuesday, April 17, 2012

David Ogilvy: A "Lousy copywriter"




David Ogilvy liked rum!

Just like me!

Read below pearls of wisdom from the original and legendary Ad man, from a favourite blog of mine called Letters of note


British-born David Ogilvy was one of the original, and greatest, "ad men." In 1948, he started what would eventually be known as Ogilvy & Mather, the Manhattan-based advertising agency that has since been responsible for some of the world's most iconic ad campaigns, and in 1963 he even wrote Confessions of an Advertising Man, the best-selling book that is still to this day considered essential reading for all who enter the industry. Time magazine called him "the most sought-after wizard in today's advertising industry" in the early-'60s; his name, and that of his agency, have been mentioned more than once in Mad Men for good reason.

With all that in mind, being able to learn of his routine when producing the very ads that made his name is an invaluable opportunity. The fascinating letter below, written by Ogilvy in 1955 to a Mr. Ray Calt, offers exactly that.

(Source: The Unpublished David Ogilvy: A Selection of His Writings from the Files of His Partners; Image: David Ogilvy, courtesy of Ads of the World.)


April 19, 1955

Dear Mr. Calt:

On March 22nd you wrote to me asking for some notes on my work habits as a copywriter. They are appalling, as you are about to see:

1. I have never written an advertisement in the office. Too many interruptions. I do all my writing at home.

2. I spend a long time studying the precedents. I look at every advertisement which has appeared for competing products during the past 20 years.

3. I am helpless without research material—and the more "motivational" the better.

4. I write out a definition of the problem and a statement of the purpose which I wish the campaign to achieve. Then I go no further until the statement and its principles have been accepted by the client.

5. Before actually writing the copy, I write down every concievable fact and selling idea. Then I get them organized and relate them to research and the copy platform.

6. Then I write the headline. As a matter of fact I try to write 20 alternative headlines for every advertisement. And I never select the final headline without asking the opinion of other people in the agency. In some cases I seek the help of the research department and get them to do a split-run on a battery of headlines.

7. At this point I can no longer postpone the actual copy. So I go home and sit down at my desk. I find myself entirely without ideas. I get bad-tempered. If my wife comes into the room I growl at her. (This has gotten worse since I gave up smoking.)

8. I am terrified of producing a lousy advertisement. This causes me to throw away the first 20 attempts.

9. If all else fails, I drink half a bottle of rum and play a Handel oratorio on the gramophone. This generally produces an uncontrollable gush of copy.

10. The next morning I get up early and edit the gush.

11. Then I take the train to New York and my secretary types a draft. (I cannot type, which is very inconvenient.)

12. I am a lousy copywriter, but I am a good editor. So I go to work editing my own draft. After four or five editings, it looks good enough to show to the client. If the client changes the copy, I get angry—because I took a lot of trouble writing it, and what I wrote I wrote on purpose.

Altogether it is a slow and laborious business. I understand that some copywriters have much greater facility.

Yours sincerely,

D.O.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

FUCK THIS

I am pretty sure I never uttered the words, "When I grow up, I want to become the person that writes meaningless drivel that tries to convince people to buy logistics services."

Friday, February 17, 2012

Lessons in

... How to destroy a brand....

- Have a bunch of 50 year old people with no experience in branding, or feelings or idea about the definition of "alignment" get together in a room and do a dance I like to call the "political hot shoe shuffle", while simulataneously waving their dicks in the air at any chance they get.


... How to lose career confidence....

- Sit in a room with people of above nature and realise that whoever screams louder and for longer will get what they want. End of story.


... How to blow off some steam....

- Go to Karnivale in Cologne and just pretend for 30 hours that none of this matters when it really really grates on you.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

WANTED

Wanted: A benefactor to support all my crazy projects.

They just need to fund my modest lifestyle of soy lattes and internet connection and mobile phone bill while I concoct ideas and put them into action.

Sometimes I have so many awesome ideas I have no idea how I'm going to do them all this lifetime.

Going to work really gets in the way of my creative mojo.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

29 going on 19

image from my favourite site about sarcasm and home truths, some ecards



I am too old to be data entering things into power point presentations like a fucking admin bitch.


And not only am I too old, I am too experienced.


I am at the point where I should be using my brain to create, strategise and brainstorm radical ideas and concepts and solutions, not to copy, paste, edit graphs and tables like someone who's interning.


Today, at the freelance office, I directed a video edit about an academy award winning director, with an intern at my disposal.


Tonight, I sit at my dining room table, plugging numbers into Powerpoint presentations to make it look like I have been doing something productive during the week at the day job because what I really do when I am at work is USE MY BRAIN for side projects so my brain won't rot.


Talk about contrast.




Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Quote of the day

" What are we running our aeroplanes on? Champagne?"

- Anonymous colleague

(in response to learning about our company's third consecutive profit warning because of "rising fuel costs" while all our competitors are in a very good financial state.)

Let's just say, learning about the demise of your company via The Wall Street Journal was kind of a hilarious experience. Only because it felt stupidly surreal.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Loud n clear?!?

Hey Universe

Do you need a hearing aid?

Perhaps you're not au fait with the english language and I need to do more interpretive dance?

Or can you not read my handwriting?

Should I write in red 172 point font?

Because I am pretty sure I am doing everything I am supposed to be doing on my end and this was a two way deal.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Contrasts

Why do I always feel like I am either floundering around aimlessly or a rat in a cage?!

What's wrong with this picture -

- Praying that I get made redundant so I can leave the company ( and collect benefits ) even though it's unlikely to happen

- Having no plan B for if I do get let go

- Having no plan B for if I don't get let go

-Not wanting to leave and not wanting to stay

F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK

Friday, July 8, 2011

Dilemma

What do you do when your day job is getting in the way of your ambition?

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Some friendly banter amongst colleagues

Tuesday 11.30am

People have been coming up to me all morning, saying "hi", asking how my holiday was.

Considering I came back to the office having been told only a few days before that 20% of the office would be made redundant by September, I thought it was nice that people were still caring about how my month off was.

I am standing by the coffee machine, waiting for my first coffee of the day to be pumped out of the pipes of automated caffeine mediocrity.

Footsteps turn the corner and suddenly the Global Sales and Marketing Director is standing infront of me.

He looks at me.

I look at him.

Him: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! (bellowing)

I look blankly at him, processing this sudden and hospitable invitation to exchange dialogue. Upon realising that he is, in fact, talking to me, I beam him a 1000 watt smile back.

Me: Well, hello!

(pause)

Did he realise that I've been gone for a month? Did he miss me? Did the campaign go so well after I left that I've etched a permanant place in his mental "Employees to keep on payroll" file?

Me: Uh, so, how ARE you?

Him: Well - personally, everything is fantastic! (bellowing)

Other people in the open plan office and are now craning their necks to really see if the Sales and Marketing Director is talking to me about his personal life, openly.

Upon confirmation that he is, they continue to watch this sudden and bold interaction.

Me: That's great to hear.

(pause)

Me: ... And...errr... everything else?

Him: Well, there could be improvements.
(His face is stern, voice is 2 decibels higher than I have ever heard them in my entire history of working for this company. A whole solid 1 year and 8 months.)

This tall, lanky, powerful, and usually reserved dutch man is scaring me. I am scared. I just don't know what to do.

He rarely leaves his office, or tears his face away from his computer monitor. 40 other men in suits report to him and he is in charge of making the money flow into this corporation and making sure it is a global name everybody knows. He has a lot of responsibility.

People in the office would jostle their grandmothers out of the way to get 2 minutes of face to face time with him.

I have spoken to him about 5 times in my life.
Once when I went to the photocopier and he was standing there and I unjammed it for him.
Once when we won the B2B Marketing awards in London and he popped some champagne and made a little "I'm proud" speech for us.
Another awkward photocopier moment.
Another time he called me into his office for me to tell him what campaigns were running for the year so he could make a powerpoint slide.
And another time when I was asking him to give me about 40,000 euros to take some photos. (Which he did.)

(Note: All interactions went reasonably well. ie. I didn't say or do anything stupid. Wait, there was that time at last year's christmas party when I was in an awkward conversation circle with him and after some banter about food and bad food in Amsterdam, I ended up asking him what time I could come over for his annual "cook for my direct reports dinner". He just straight up told me I wasn't invited. I thought that was kind of cool. )

Conversation continues...

Me: Could be improvements huh? .... Uh... anything I can do to help?

I am stirring sugar into my coffee, and wondering... what is the appropriate thing to say in this situation?!? Surely, I've just said the right thing?!

Him: You could start by getting our sales force out there and telling them to sell more stuff!

I look up from my coffee stirring. Does he know who I am and what I actually do here?
I look over to our Field Sales Director who happens to be sitting a metre from this whole show. I am on friendly terms with him. He is looking at me with a nervous smile.

He gets out of his chair and comes to the coffee machine.

Me: I shall draft the memo now!

(I am trying to sound helpful and triumphant)

I clutch my coffee and the Field Sales Director comes and pushes some buttons on the coffee machine.

Global Sales and Marketing guy: Tell him (pointing to Field Sales Director) to get onto his people!


Then Global Sales and Marketing Director gets distracted and talks to a Product Manager who has overheard this conversation and is chuckling. They share some jovial banter.

I look at Field Sales Director.

FSD: That's what you get for sitting close to the coffee machine.

Me: Here I am minding my own business, getting a cafe au lait, and suddenly I'm responsible for the fall of the empire! (I chuckle.)

FSD: No, I meant me. (He's smiling but sounds kind of glum.)

Me: Oh.

I take a side step and sip of my coffee and stand there for a second, before wandering back to my desk.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Corporations: where creativity goes to die.

I told a good friend/colleague today about an idea I had for a stencil I wanted to make for some guerilla street art. It just came to me as I sat down to my computer today.

When I showed it to her, she said "I don't get."

I asked her what's not to get.

And she said " What is it supposed to do? Are YOU going to paint these somewhere? And if so, where?"

"On the side of this office building." I retorted.

Her mouth gaped open in shock.

"I'm kidding." I sighed. And I walked back to my desk and kept typing.

Fucking corporate types.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Creative Crusader?

I’ve just been put through to the final round for a work sponsored based assignment on a project called the World Food programme. It’s run by a little organisation, perhaps you’ve heard of it? They’re called the United Nations.

I will know in May if I will be able to

- make a difference
- add experience to my resume that not a lot of people get the say they’ve ever come close to
- follow my dream of working in multimedia communications, in another country

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Retrospective #6: Home, Work, and Play











Christmas Markets, Berlin : sweets that say sweet things


I went on a Gluhwein frenzy in Berlin.


Another Christmas Market in an old brewery, Berlin.


WTF? Raw meat on bread that Tom told me to eat for breakfast.


Tom taught me how to play Backgammon again.


Vietnamese food in Berlin. At Long last, decent asian food!!





Scandic Hotel, Berlin: Conference location


German Soul food: Potatoe dumplings and pork in a raisin and beetroot jus


Curryworst + Gluhwein, Berlin.


B2B Marketing Awards, London: Victory will be mine. Oh yes. It will be.


Busaba Thai, London: Two of my UK based besties...


New bike suffers in the snow - dodgy turquoise spray job executed by me so I can recognise it when drunk, I mean, dark...



"What is simple in the moonlight by the morning never is."




Snow in the park opposite my apartment

Friday, December 10, 2010

One sentence you hope our boss never says... but he did

Thursday night, Office Christmas party:

"Why is it that every time I look over at the bar you are there?"

(Maybe because I like the bar?)