Eggtrading 101

Me: But I want the goose that lays the golden egg NOW!!

Kurt: You can't have that. You need to start with one normal egg and then you can use that to get two eggs and then three eggs and then eventually you'll have a whole heap of eggs and THEN you can trade that for a goose that will lay a golden egg.

Me: How profound.

The new direction from the usual

"The day your life changes starts off like any other day..."

This is a quote from something I watched and I can't remember what.

But ain't that the beauty of magic?

Appears out of nowhere, stems from the seed of things planted ambiguously,or unintentionally, and the universe just went to work behind your back while you ate dinner, took showers, drank beer and slept a little.

Theatrics

"In the concert of life, nobody receives a program"

- Old Dutch Proverb

The shift

Art by my favourite street artist, C215

“And when the event, the big change in your life, is simply an insight--isn't that a strange thing? That absolutely nothing changes except that you see things differently and you're less fearful and less anxious and generally stronger as a result: isn't it amazing that a completely invisible thing in your head can feel realer than anything you've experienced before? You see things more clearly and you KNOW that you're seeing them more clearly. And it comes to you that this is what it means to love life, this is all anybody who talks seriously about God is ever talking about. Moments like this."

― Jonathan Franzen, The Corrections

Blink

Street art around the corner from my house, on De Clerqstraat.
Drawings by Antiorde and Prose by Laser 3.14

“We need to look at the subtle, the hidden, and the unspoken.”
― Malcolm Gladwell

We are all capable of making GOOD decisions in a split second. First impressions count.

I had forgotten about this little lesson. It was so important to me when I first moved here, and somewhere along the line I shelved it somewhere.

The skill of assessing in the moment comes from the beautiful and enigmatic computer which is the mind, flipping through a database of a gabillion experiences and memories that the body has stored as a reference point.

Sometimes the signs aren't even that cryptic, they are visibly out there (or out there in touch, smell, sound or taste.) Society has assigned certain values to semiotic symbols, (hence the creation of stereotypes) which speak volumes at a glance.

In the end, how you feel about a situation, scenario or person and the energy or vibe you are getting from it comes from a process that has already happened internally before you've even had a chance to understand the logic.

And if you're feeling anything less than comfortable with the situation, it's time to turn around and walk away, cut it loose or call it a night.

The swagger that speaks louder than the smile. The club that is lit up with beats blasting but there is something not quite right about crowd. The email that sounds innocent but hides a trap.

Alternatively, you should persist if there's something telling you that everything's going to be ok.

Anticipating!

image by Mark Mawson

I am so freaking excited about 2012, I have no idea why.

I just am. I can't stop smiling today.

2011 wasn't a particularly bad year for me. It was actually very good to me.

Weird to think I'm not smiling because the year is over, but because I'm looking forward to the future.

I formed a really strong bond with a great bunch of friends, and I kept my job and therefore my visa to live in Europe.

I travelled a lot, and saw a lot of new places on the planet.

I went home and saw my family and friends and had a lot of nice realisations about my life.

I didn't get slapped in the face with any obviously hard lessons this year, just some gentle reminders.

Here are my resolutions this year:

- Be more responsible. I want my finances to be in check and also my health. And I want to be reliable, so when I say I'll do something, someone can rely on me to do that. Turning up on time to things is a good start.

- Quit the social smoking. Blagh. It's going to be tough, but I want to live for a long time and be around to accomplish some great things.

- Lose weight before I go home in March.

- Plan time for exercise and passion projects. (See resolution number 1 to understand why this is important.)

- Be more selective about who I interact with and what projects I decide to take on. It's all about quality and not quantity this year.

BOOYAH!

I hope 2012 blossoms into a phenomenal year!

Happy New Year!! xxx

Suit up

Indisputable fact #1:

Every male looks better in a well-fitted suit.

Even the worst dressed male in the world.

Makes me think twice every time.

Indisputable fact #2:

Every male can look hot with the right hair cut and a well-fitted suit.

Winning combination. Fool proof.

Don't give me that look. What look? THAT look.

I once said to someone,

"There's only one look that's ever on my face - and that, is the look of honesty."

Translated into: I show every emotion which is going on inside of me, whether I like it or not.

I know this because people tell me all the time the exact thing that I am thinking, and that disturbs me greatly.

Apparently, I am an open book. Maybe not a book. Maybe an open magazine with scruffy dog eared pages. ( Always lose recipes and pictures I like in magazines unless I do this.)

What is the opposite of a Poker face?

How about a BINGO face?

As in the game that old people play? As in, they get antsy if they are closeto getting their combination of numbers in order to win? Or screaming at the top of their octogeneric lungs when they have won?

I think I care too much about things.

I am way too opinionated about things that I shouldn't even be concerned about.

There are some words I should really be channelling at the moment, and I am going to do my best to start with these words today:

NONCHALANT

ALOOF

UNPERTURBED


I am going to come up with a technique for dealing with things I hear/see/sense that all of a sudden shock me/annoy me/disturb me.

Just like the Seinfeld version of "Serenity Now", I need to think of something that makes me laugh, or smile serenely. Hmmmm, what could be that mechanism...?

Maybe I could just go to my happy place...

- Amsterdam Roots Festival or WOMADelaide.
- My recent holiday back to Australia
- My recent birthday party in Amsterdam where my friends presented me with not one but 2 birthday cakes and sung to me in dutch and english.

Or maybe I could think about things like

- winning a scholarship to gastronomy university
- getting made redundant, being paid out for the trouble and then being offered a full time travel blogging job

Thought du jour: Why waste energy that could go into YOUR transformation worrying about others are doing/not doing? Some people are Phoenixes and others are fodder.

The jig is up...

Needless to say, I really enjoyed my time at home.

I thought that all the self-confronting time I had spent in the Netherlands was going to provide me with all the answers - or at least a large proportion of the answers - that I was looking for.

It turns out that coming full circle and being home gave me the perspective to join more than a few dot dots together, and so far the picture is looking good. Hopeful. Inspired.

Going home gave me a new vigour for continuing on the path of "doing whatever the hell it is I feel like doing, because there is only one of me to execute what needs to be done."

Here are some myths that were blasted while I was at home:

- I don't have a true home.

Not true. At the moment, I have two.

- My friends in my hometown have all moved on and forgotten about me.

My friends at home have some of the strongest senses of who I am, and what drives me as a person and vice versa of me for them. Their lives have changed, but they haven't forgotten me, in fact their support for me has only grown stronger and more vocal.





- I'm too big for my home town and can never go back.

My home town has changed but so have I, and I saw that city with new eyes, and a fresh attraction for the beauty of the sky, beach, and people. I might have seen more things in the world, have more grand ideas about who I can become and what is possible, but that town holds opportunities that are there for the taking. It just wasn't where I needed to be a couple of years ago, and maybe not in the near future.




- I need to stay overseas because I'll be labelled a failure/won't be "anyone" if I can't hang tight there for a significant amount of time, after all the years that I talked about going over there.


How long is a piece of string? Who defines what is a significant time period? I make the rules, and so I can break the rules.


An nobody has ever said to me that I shouldn't come home until I can prove myself worthy. Worthy of what? Who knows.... something I created in my own mind.

In the end, all that matters to is that I shape my own life with decisions that I am happy about and believe in 100%. And having the courage and wisdom to own each and every decision I make is a process, but I have people on both hemispheres that can help me with that.

Dismantling the delusions

Sometimes, things happen where you say

"WHAT - THE - FUCK."

No question mark required.

The situation is so bizarre that noone could possibly ever offer an explanation that would or could satisfy therefore rendering it completely useless to pose the words in a tone that would present it as a question.

Sometimes, when you ask for a sign, a deafening silence can follow.

And that is actually your answer you were meant to receive.

Drowning in the noise is more likely than in water

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

- Steve Jobs

The graceful exit

There's a trick to the 'graceful exit.' It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over - and let it go. It means leaving what's over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving up, rather than out."
- Ellen Goodman

Fear not.

Nahum of Bratslav said:

“When I appear before the Heavenly tribunal and I am asked, ‘Why did you not lead your people like Moses?’
I shall not be afraid.

‘When I am asked, ‘Why were you not a David who worshiped me and shepherded your people?’
I will be calm.

‘When they query, ‘Why were you not Elijah who spoke the truth and brought forth justice?’
Even then I will not shake.

“Ah, but when they ask, ‘Nahum, why were you not Nahum?’
It is then I will tremble from head to toe!”

- From Paulo Coelho's blog

Regal and royal

I may have moved here about 20 months ago, but more than ever, I have been more intune with milestones that have popped out of nowhere. I thought nothing of waking up,a year ago, to days whereby I thought I was merely getting on with things.

The milestones of the day I first landed, the day I got my first apartment, the day I met my BFF Laura, my first snowfall.... they are all important.

But the ones that creep up are equally a personal triumph, a little less memorable, but I appreciate them none the less.

Over a year ago, I had no idea what I was creating, no idea what would come of what I would do on a day to day basis.

For example; Last weekend with a sunny, hot easter, hanging in the park with a group of fantastic people I am lucky to call my friends, was a true joy. Compare that to a year ago, where I was hanging out with friends visiting from London, with no idea of where to really take them, and no locals to really introduce them to either, because.... I didn't really know anyone.

Almost a year ago, it was the eve before Queen's day.

I remember getting off the tram from work, with no idea of what I was going to do, who I was going to meet up with (if anyone), where the night would take me.

Tonight, as I was searching for something to wear (because I hate the colour orange, I have nothing in my wardrobe of that hue) I fielded calls from friends as I shopped, reminiscing about what we were all doing this time last year, and it crossed my mind, I knew none of them this time last year and thoughts passed through my mind of what kind of life I had created in a year... and what I could possibly create in more coming years here.

I thought last Queen's day could of possibly been my one and only, and here I am about to experience my second with lessons learnt such as:

- buy beer early
- bring beer with you throughout the day
- bring cash to buy random second hand things
- get out of the house early
- try to find something classy but orange to wear (even though it's hard) because it's bad form to not wear anything orange at all
- bring a camera with plenty of battery
- wear sensible walking shoes

Last year, at the traditional unveiling of a giant Queen Beatrix related artwork on a the facade of a pub called "The Blaffing Vis" ( The Barking Fish), there was Queen Beatrix in a 5 storey high characiture, dressed as super girl, with the speech bubble, "Be a Hero!"

She's so cool, she's kind of my hero. For no other reason than she's just more hip than Queen Liz of England.


This year, we're going to do it all again for the Queen B of the Netherlands.

Here's to new friends, new adventures... and possibly, being able to treat this Queen's day like it might not be my last one ever.

Passive, Secretive, and Undecidedly distracted

Sometimes it takes the help of fresh eyes to help you understand how beautiful the world you live in really is.

It helps when the eyes you are in the company of belong to some of the most quietly encouraging and creative friends you have.

I showed them a bit of my town when they came for a visit, and it reminded me that time is best spent with easy quietness, exploring behind closed doors, and pleasantly distracting yourself from the responsibilities in your day to day life.

Au revoir, Auf Wiedersehen... and so forth.

I've decided that leaving a party with my dignity is better than staying for the sake of your request.

(translate: this blows and I'm okay with exiting, no matter how impolite it looks. Because I like my spare time better than I like mingling with people I'm not interested in.)

Have fun. Thanks for having me.

PS I'm taking a beer for the road, and my coat... and scarf..... And maybe, wait, probably, the mixer I am holding that I haven't quite finished yet.

The rearrangement of words

Sometimes, people say things or write things, and in normal circumstances, they sound offensive or hurtful.

But in a different context, they have the most beautiful intentions.

A note of encouragement from someone at home that I care about a lot, and obviously, cares a lot for me too:

"Enjoy your successes and stay away from us - It's doing you good."

Ummmm.... dude, where's my bike?

Riding around town all smug on your bike doesn't do you any favours.

It just means you feel the shock more when your bike gets stolen .

Like mine did, tonight.

Wow.

So, this is what it feels like.

The Teflon Pan theory

I have a theory. Hear me out.

How does the significant man/the man you hope to be significant in your life treat teflon pans?

Why do I ask?

Because cooking is about nurturing. Nurturing your soul, body, and mind. And to create a dish spectacular enough to satisfy the needs of all these sensitive things requires a level of gentleness and responsibility in preparation.

The teflon pan is a necessity to cook these days. It's pretty delicate. Tough and sturdy, but requires a visible demonstration of tender, loving care.

You take a fork to the surface of one of those babies, and in my book, you are pretty much saying; "I couldn't give a shit about your pan, this meal, or anything that happens between now and eating what I'm cooking. I just want what I want, and what I want is to eat."

OR, alternatively,

"I have no idea what I am doing, and even less of an idea that I am scratching the fuck out of something so valuable, thereby ruining it for future use, altogether. I am a moron. "

So.....

Listening to your Inner Peanut

Laura: I think your inner peanut is good. You should listen to it more. Sometimes your outter peanut goes a bit crazy, but your inner peanut knows what's happening.

(In reference to listening to my intuition, which coincidentally, her boyfriend and her have named "my inner peanut." Funny because back in the day a 'Pinda' (Peanut) is what dutch people used to call Indonesian people, but in a not so polite or affectionate way.)